


The secrets of life

by sterektothemoonandback



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anorexia, Anxiety Disorder, BAMF!Stiles, Badass, Battle, Comfort, Cuddle, Death, Depression, Feelings, Fighting, Flashback, Happy Ending, Hospital, Hurt, Hurt Stiles, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic, Mama Stilinski - Freeform, Mates, Mountain Ash, Nightmares, Pack, Panic Attack, Poison, Puppy pile, References to Suicide, Self-Harm, Slow Build, Stiles, Stiles to the rescue, The Alpha Pack, The Pack fighting together, Witch - Freeform, Wolfsbane, bad self-esteem, derek - Freeform, derek comforting stiles, derek helping stiles, dr. deaton - Freeform, mate, more panic attacks, mrs. Stilinski - Freeform, preparing for the witch, spell, sterek, stiles explaining, stiles helping derek, the pack together, the witch comes, triskele
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-11
Updated: 2013-03-05
Packaged: 2017-11-28 23:52:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/680290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sterektothemoonandback/pseuds/sterektothemoonandback
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alpha pack have made their way into Beacon Hills. One night Derek's pack have to face them in a bloody battle. Suddenly Stiles comes and helps them with a secret no one knew about. And what is he talking about when he mentions revenge? Will the pack make it or is this the end?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Battlefield

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first fic I'm posting. Hope you like it!

Erica and Jackson were laying on the floor, bloody and unconscious. Boyd sat down beside Isaac on the floor trying to cover their wounds. Scott stood beside Derek, pressing on a bleeding wound on his leg, eyes glowing yellow. To his left Derek saw how Peter got thrown across the room into the wall before he fell down to the floor, unconscious. Derek let out a snarl, eyes glowing red as the blood started to make it's way down his stomach. This was the end. He was never made to be the alpha of a pack, this pack. They were just a bunch of teenagers who already had it tough.

"Don't you worry Derek, we'll take you out after them." one of the male alphas said. The alpha stepped forward towards Peter, a clawed hand raised in the air. As the alpha took another step forward an arrow came flying in the air and hit him in the chest, ending him directly. The alpha fell dead to the ground. As the alpha pack looked at their dead member another arrow flew across the room, hitting one of the female alphas in the heart. She fell to the ground just like the other alpha had. Derek and the other alphas snapped their heads in the direction the arrow came from. There, up on one of the beams that once upon a time had supported the second floor, was Stiles sitting with a crossbow in his hands. The boy was only wearing a tank top and jeans, clothes ripped from when he'd been running through the woods.

"What the…" Scott said, Derek thought the same. Derek saw as the muscles in Stiles' arm tightened as he pulled another arrow back in the bow. The boy was steady on his hands and he released the arrow as one of the alphas growled. The arrow hit him in the heart and now three of the alphas had fallen to the ground.

"You gonna run away or you gonna let me kill you?" Stiles said confidently, letting a bitter smile spread across his lips. "Well, you're gonna die anyway, but you might want to live for some more minutes." He raised his bow again and hit one of the three remaining alphas in the leg. The alpha fell to his knees and let out a pained growl. Then he looked up at Stiles.

"End me, Little Red." he said dryly.

"I don't think so, Tony. I'd love to, but…" Stiles replied. Once again the boy smiled. "You're gonna see your pack die, then I'll kill you. You deserve that after what you've done to mine."

Stiles fired away an arrow that hit the last female alpha in the shoulder. He shot another one that hit her leg. She fell to the ground, howling in pain.

"Not so sure with the bow, huh?" she said between gritted teeth.

"In fact, I am." he said dryly as he pulled another arrow back in the bow. "I really am." he added as he released the arrow. The arrow hit Rita in the chest and she died on the spot.

"You're dead, Stiles." the alpha who wasn't hurt said. He bared his teeth and flew up in the air towards Stiles. The boy plucked up another arrow and fired it away faster than Derek thought was possible. It hit the alpha right in the head and he fell back down.

"Sorry Oz, but I'm not sorry." Stiles said as Oz's heart beat one last time. Then Stiles jumped down to the floor where all the werewolves were. He took something out from the little backpack he'd brought and threw it to Derek.

"Give some to Erica and Jackson and they'll wake up." he instructed Derek. At first he just stared from the package to the boy standing in front of him, shocked about what just had happened, then he did as the boy had said. He gave Erica and Jackson some of the liquid that was in the package and the two werewolves woke up, still in a lot of pain though. He turned around to see Stiles hit Tony with another arrow, this one placed in his arm.

"P-please, Stiles." the alpha muttered out. "Do you know how much I worked for those alphas, this pack?" Tony gestured towards the five dead alphas.

"Don't 'please' me, Tony. You almost killed my pack, this is what you get for messing with me from the first time. I don't care how much you worked for them. They were just as evil as you. They got what they deserved." Stiles answered. He raised his bow again, pointing it at Tony. "You once took what was mine, now I'm taking it back." he let go of the arrow and it sailed towards Tony, hitting him in the chest. "Taking what's mine."

Tony hit the ground with a thud. The alpha pack was now dead, all of them. And it was Stiles who had killed them, one by one, finishing with the main alpha. Stiles heard a thud behind him and turned around to see that Scott, his best friend, was laying on the ground, dying. He hurried up to his side and took his backpack off.

"Come on Scott, swallow this." he said as he poured down some liquid in Scott's mouth. Scott did as he was told and he felt a bit better as the bitter liquid was down his throat. Stiles was now ripping his pants open with a knife he'd taken out from the backpack. "This is gonna hurt like hell, but... Sorry." he said placing some powder over the wound on Scott's leg. Scott cried out in pain as the wound began to smoke. The smoke was purple and once it stopped the wound had stopped bleeding. Stiles bandaged Scott's leg and then moved to Peter. He took out a syringe and then injected it in the man's arm. Peter's veins turned green as the liquid started to move through his body.

"What the…" Derek looked at Stiles in shock as the boy stood up once again.

"Will you look after him, Derek? He might want to get up but he's too weak for it, but he'll try, so you have to keep him down." Stiles said as he walked towards Isaac and Boyd.

"S-sure." Derek replied and walked over to Peter.

"Here, take a sip of this." Stiles ordered Boyd. Once Boyd had taken a sip of it Stiles placed it in his backpack again and cleaned one of the wounds on Boyd's chest.

"I-I can't feel anything." Boyd whispered in panic.

"That's what the drink was for, so you don't have to feel the pain when I clean your wounds. I swear it'd hurt like a bitch, you might even had tried to kill me, if you wouldn't have taken a sip from the bottle." he smiled at the werewolf. "You'll be able to feel again in ten minutes, don't worry." he said calmly as he put a bandage over the wound. He cleaned the other big wounds fast and put bandages on the biggest of them. Once he was done he moved over to Isaac who now was laying on the floor.

"Stiles…" the boy said looking up at him.

"It's alright, Sweetcheeks. I'm gonna fix this." he said placing a kiss on Isaac's forehead. He took out another syringe, similar to the one he'd given Peter, but the liquid in this one was purple. "This'll stop the bleeding from the inside, all wounds at the same time." he whispered to the boy as he ran a hand through Isaac's curls. Then he ripped Isaac's shirt open and gave him the liquid through the stomach. When the wounds started to smoke purple Isaac took Stiles' hand.

"Is it… it is," was all he could say.

"Yeah, it's the same thing Scott got, but in liquid form." he said squeezing Isaac's hand. As the smoke cleared he covered the biggest wounds up as fast as he could. "Scott, could you help me with Jackson and Erica?" he asked his friend.

"Yeah, yeah, of course." Scott said walking over to where Jackson and Erica were splayed on the floor.

"Please don't kill me for this." Stiles said grinning to Jackson as he drowned one of the boy's wounds in some sort of green gel. Jackson let out a snarl as the gel hit the wound.

"It hurts like a bitch. Why didn't I get that liquid Boyd got?" Jackson asked.

"I only want to see you suffer, Prettyface." Stiles replied grinning down at Jackson.

"Stiles!" Jackson roars.

"Hey! You should be thankful I'm here, Prettyface. Without me you'd all be dead by now." he said pointing at Jackson with the gel tube. "I was just joking. It's because you were given some drops of colyrim, I'll explain that later okay, to wake you up. If I'd give you what I gave Boyd it'd be 80-90% chance you'd die, dude."

"Oh… Well, thank you, Stiles." Jackson said giving Stiles a small smile.

"We're pack, what else would I do? Leave my family for death? I don't think so. And yes, you're all like a family to me. I only have a dad you know" he smiled down at the boy. "Now you're done. Just lay here for a while, okay?"

"Sure thing." Jackson replied as he squeezed Stiles' hand.

"Scott, would you take out the little, blue bottle from the backpack?" he asked Scott.

"Yeah, here." Scott said handing Stiles the bottle.

"Thanks." Stiles said as he grabbed the bottle. "Some glitter for the princess." he joked as he put some of the actual glitter from the bottle in his hand. "Scott, hold her in place so that she won't bite me or something. And you Erica, take a deep breath and try not to kill me."

Scott did as he was told and took a steady grip around Erica. She cried out loud as Stiles placed the glitter in her wounds. When he placed the glitter in the biggest wound she turned and bared her teeth at Stiles.

"Easy there." Stiles said putting some bandages on the wounds. "Just hold her until she shifts back, would you?" he asked. Scott just nodded in response and Stiles got up to his feet. "Now it's your turn." he said pointing at Derek. "If you can lay down that'd be great."

"Fine." Derek sighed. Once he was laying on the floor Stiles came up by his side with the little backpack in his hand. "What do you keep in that by the way?" he asked.

"Isn't it kinda obvious? I clearly keep things that helps your little werewolf asses." Stiles stated. "A lot of good things you know, like these." he said holding up the tube of gel in his hand and the bottle of glitter in his other hand. "Big bad alpha wolf will need both glitter and gel."

"Ha-ha not funny." Derek muttered. "Thanks, by the way." he said as Stiles put some of the gel in the wound on his stomach. It started to come purple smoke from the wound and it really did hurt like a bitch, but Derek did his best to not scream in pain.

"No problem, Sourwolf." Stiles said as he put some gel into the small wounds on Derek's arms and legs. "Time for you to lay on your side so I can get this on your back."

"You don't have to you know." Derek said.

"Oh come on Sourwolf! You're the alpha of this pack and we all need you to be okay." Stiles replied grinning. "Now turn over, will you?"

"Yeah." he said and turned over on his side. He tried not to twist too much as Stiles put some gel in the wounds. Stiles then took the bottle with the glitter and poured it over the wounds on his back. As Stiles put down the bottle he placed a hand on Derek's shoulder and laid him back down on his back. He popped the bottle open again and poured the blue glitter in his wounds.

"That will make it." Stiles said with a proud smile on his lips. "You'll all be fine soon enough." he said as he put the last bandage on.

Once all of the werewolves were taken care of Stiles stood up and looked around the room. The adrenaline had almost disappeared and he felt how exhausted he actually was. That's when his mind gave up and he collapsed to the floor.

"Stiles!" Isaac, Scott and Derek shouted before everything went black.

Derek was the first one to react as Stiles fell. He hurried up to the boy and placed a hand on his arm. His arm was cold and wet from the sweat that once was dripping hot.

"He's freezing cold." Derek said as Scott, Isaac and Jackson made their way to Stiles.

"Oh my god! He ran out here in those clothes?! Gosh! The adrenaline must've made him forget how tired he was, right? Is he gonna be okay?" Scott said nervously, placing one of his hands on Stiles' forehead.

"He'll be okay, he just need to rest I think. He must've ran as fast as he could for at least thirty minutes before he came here. And then he had to focus to kill the alphas." he replied.

"The jerk didn't even bring a jacket or hoodie." Jackson pointed out. "How are we gonna keep him warm?"

"We can wrap him in my jacket then I can carry him away from here, he'll get warm from my body heat." Derek said before getting up. He walked across the room, picking up his jacket where he had thrown it off about and hour earlier. When he reached Stiles Scott and Jackson held him up so that Derek could put his jacket around the boy. Scott shut the zipper and then moved back. Derek slid an arm around the boy's shoulders and the other one under his knees, slowly picking him up from the ground. He placed the boy as close to his body as possible and tried to make it as comfortable as it could get before he started walking.

"Come on, lets get moving. We need to get him out of here." he said to his betas. Boyd and Peter got up and Scott opened the door for Derek to carry Stiles out. Once they all were outside they started walking/jogging towards the place they had left their cars, or where Derek and Stiles had left their cars.

 

-

 

After twenty minutes of walking/half jogging he felt the boy in his arms wake up. The heartbeat that had been beating slow and steady was now beating faster, not really fast but yeah, faster than when he was asleep.

Stiles blinked and then let his eyes open lazily. He was tugged close against a warm body, an arm wrapped around his shoulders and another one under his knees. His head was resting against the man's chest and he could hear the steady heartbeat against his ear. He let his head fall back so that he could see the man carrying him. All he saw was a chin full off stubble but he could easily tell it was Derek. Suddenly a pair of green eyes were looking down at him. The man sighed in relief.

"Good thing you're awake." Derek whispered. "But you should try to sleep again, you were so exhausted that you fainted. You've been out for like thirty minutes or something."

"Humpf…" he muttered as he blinked slowly. Then he let his eyes fall shut again. "Goodnight then." he said laying back his head on Derek's chest. It took just a few seconds before he was sleeping again, lulled against Derek's body.


	2. Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles wakes up at the hospital with two werewolves wrapped around him. Why was he even there? Is he really okay? Stiles couldn't remember at all. Guess he have to ask someone later. And why did Derek ignore him? Stiles was pack, wasn't he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kinda boring since it's just the day Stiles spends at the hospital. But the end is kinda cute.
> 
> I'll be writing all weekend and next week so hopefully I'll post a couple of chapters then. xx

When Stiles woke up his body felt numb. His eyelids were heavy as he tried to open his eyes. It took some time for him to open them and then he blinked lazily over and over again until the light in the room didn't blind him anymore. Once his eyes were open he noticed the two boys sleeping next to him. Scott was basically slicked onto his right side, head buried in his neck, and Isaac was placed on his left side with an arm around Stiles, also his head was buried in Stiles' neck. Stiles looked around the room and realized he was in a hospital. He tried to sit up but the movement woke Scott up and he nuzzled into Stiles' neck, forcing him back down.

"You okay?" Scott asked into Stiles' neck.

"Except from the part where it feels like my body's been hit by a 18-wheeler, yes." he replied.

"Good." the boy said lazily. Scott then poked Isaac in the chest. The boy woke up with a groan before he realized why he was woken up.

"Stiles, you're okay." Isaac said in a happy tone as he hugged Stiles tightly.

"Hey, easy with the werewolf hugs buddy." Stiles laughed. "I'm only human you know."

"Yeah, right, sorry." Isaac almost whispered, letting go of Stiles.

"Hey, no need to stop the cuddle." Stiles complained. Isaac laid back down and nuzzled back into Stiles' neck. Whatever the reason were that he was laying in the hospital he didn't care, he freaking loved these puppy cuddles!

Just as Stiles was about to fall asleep again he remembered his dad. Oh god! How could he be this stupid? His dad was probably sitting in the waiting room or getting something to eat. His dad would probably like to meet him now that he was awake.

"Shit…" he muttered. "Uhm.. Scott? Is my dad here? If he is could you bring him in here?" he asked as he poked his best friend on his back. "Dude, get up and get my dad." he groaned as the boy didn't move. Stiles then began to tickle his friend and Scott started to shriek immediately.

"Okay, okay, going, going!" Scott squeaked, getting out of the bed. As he left the room Isaac got up and sat down on one of the chairs. Just some seconds later Scott entered the room with John close behind. John made his way to sit down on the chair next to Stiles' hospital bed.

"Thank god you're okay, son. How do you feel?" he sighed in relief.

"I'm fine dad." Stiles said. "Just a little tired."

"I understand that. I heard you passed out because you were so exhausted yesterday. Thankfully these two boys and the rest of your friends brought you here to get you checked up. Lucky they did since you were dehydrated." John informed. "Do you want anything? Anything to eat? Drink?" he asked.

"Curly fries, totally! Lots of them! And yes I want something to drink. Take a coke or something." Stiles replied happily. He'd been hungry since he woke up and it felt like he was starving now that his dad brought up the food subject.

"Then curly fires it is." John laughed. "I'll be back in fifteen minutes so you better stay awake."

"Damn sure I will, I'm starving." Stiles said as his stomach made a sound of approval. "See." he laughed. His dad, Scott and Isaac also laughed at the sound. His dad waved him goodbye before heading out.

 

-

 

"Do you two mind telling me why I'm in a hospital?" Stiles asked his two best friends as his dad was home getting him some other clothes and picking up his Nintendo DS so that he could do something else than just sit there.

"You remember the part where you saved our asses, right?" Stiles nodded in response. "Well, after that you fixed us up and so on. But when you had fixed us up you fainted. You were ice cold and wet from the sweat that'd been getting cold. And you were exhausted. Short story what happened after that is that Derek borrowed you his jacket, carried you out of the house, you woke up for a minute and talked a bit to him, you fell asleep and then he carried you to the hospital, all of the pack following. Once you got here they took you in and checked everything and stated that you were dehydrated and that you fainted because you were exhausted. They gave you this," Scott said pointing at the bag with liquid. "And yeah, that's how you got here."

"Oh." Stiles said looking a bit confused. "Well, that describes why I'm so tired and thirsty all the damn time. And, uhm, could one of you get me some water? Thirsty and all you know." he asked his friends.

"Sure, I'll get you some." Isaac said and made his way out of the room.

"Thanks." Stiles almost shouted, not that Isaac wouldn't hear him if he whispered but yeah, he still treated them as humans. "Do you know when I'll be out anyway?" he asked Scott.

"They say that they'll let you out tomorrow." his friend said. "How are you feeling by the way?"

"I'm feeling fine, except that my muscles hurts." he replied.

"Well I totally get that. I mean, you ran for at least thirty minutes to get yo us. In the middle of the woods. And then you climbed to the second floor of that building we were in without any of us werewolves noticing you. That's pretty awesome man!" Scott said. "You're totally a hero, Stiles. Thank you for saving us." he added.

"Yeah, I was surprised that non of you noticed me when I sat on the beam in there. It's cool man, anything for pack you know. And no, you're deffo not starting to call me hero, buddy." he said pointing at his friend. "Deffo not."

"Aw come on man! You are a hero! No doubt in that." his friend yelped as Isaac entered the room with a bottle of water.

"I totally agree to that." Isaac said as he made his way over to the bed. "You are our hero." he added as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "Here." he said reaching out the bottle of water.

"Thanks again." Stiles said as he took the bottle. He took a big mouth of water and swallowed. Then he took two more before setting the bottle down on the little table beside his bed. "Gosh, I'm so bored! Is there anything to do here? Could you at least take me out for a little walk?" he groaned. "I'm tired of laying here all the time."

"Sure, we can go to the waiting room and say hi to the pack if you want." Scott said.

"Yes!" Stiles almost shouted in happiness. "Oh man I love you! And you too Isaac. Now get me out of here." he said as he placed his legs on the side of the bed. Scott walked up beside Stiles if he wanted someone to lean on. They walked out of the room and made their way down the corridor. 

As Stiles entered the waiting room three teenagers were surrounding him, all trying to get the first hug. After some snarls and glares it was Jackson who got the first hug, then Erica got one and last was Boyd.

"Didn't know you'd be that happy to see me again." Stiles laughed. "How's my puppies?" he asked.

"You must be kidding, you're like a second dad or a mum to us." Erica joked. "At least you're pack and pack comes first." she added as she gave Stiles' hand a squeeze.

"That's actually true." Isaac said.

"I don't know guys. By the way your 'dad' is glaring at me I don't think he agrees." Stiles said looking at the alpha who just stated at him, face expressionless.

"You are pack though." Derek agreed. And you're like a mother to this pack Derek wanted to add but he didn't. "Pack comes first." he said instead.

"Looks like Mr. Grumpy isn't too grumpy today." Stiles joked. "Lets hope he stays like that for a while."

"Shut up, Stiles." Derek said shooting the boy a glare.

"Sure, alpha. I'm heading back too my room anyway." he said before turning around. "Feel free to come and visit me whenever you want guys." he added as he walked down the corridor with Scott and Isaac again. Mr. Grumpy Wolf wasn't going to ruin his day today either.

 

-

 

Later on his dad  comes with his clothes and he also brings some pizza to all of them. Stiles, Scott, Isaac and John eats in Stiles' room and Derek, Jackson, Erica, Boyd and Peter eats in the waiting room. Or, Stiles' not sure if all of them eat but apparently the pizza is gone when Scott checks on them. During the rest of the day Jackson comes into Stiles' room and actually cuddles Stiles, Erica and Boyd comes in and gives him hugs and thanks him, even Peter comes and thanks him. There's only one of them who doesn't come to see him even though they're all there. And that's Derek. Stiles wonders if he's only here because all his betas are here and that one of the pack is hurt. When Stiles visit the waiting room a second time that day he ignores Stiles and only shots him an evil glare when Stiles points out how grumpy he seems. He hasn't even said a 'thank you' or 'it's nice to see that you're okay'. When Stiles left the room he didn't even care that Derek had tried to reach for him. If Sourwolf ignored him he would do the same.

 

-

 

Stiles was asleep as Derek entered the hospital room later that night. He had been pacing around the hospital all day waiting for the others to leave Stiles' room. He even convinced the Sheriff that he could go home and that he, Isaac and Scott would stay and call him if anything happened. So here he was in Stiles' room with Scott and Isaac sleeping in the waiting room. He approached the sleeping boy slowly and sat down on the chair beside the bed. This was all his fault, not that Stiles was seriously injured but yeah, the boy didn't have to save him, the betas he would understand, but not him, or Peter by the way. I mean, he was close to Scott and Isaac, Erica and Boyd were like his siblings and lately Jackson and Stiles had found out that they were actually very much like each other and they'd started an odd journey of hanging out sometimes that ended with them now being friends. But Derek, who was he in the boy's eyes? Derek was the one always threatening Stiles and scaring him. The boy must be really tired of it. Maybe that's why he did it? Save Derek. So that he could show the older man that even though he's human he's capable of defending himself and that he isn't a scared boy. Well, Derek didn't deserve to be saved. After what happened with Kate and his family he didn't deserve to live. Why would anyone even want to see him alive? Derek was too caught up in thinking so he didn't notice that the boy next to him woke up.

"Hey, Derek." the boy said and it made Derek jump a little in surprise. "Lost in your thoughts, huh?" he asked.

"Yeah." Derek replied still looking at his feet.

"What brings you in here?" Stiles asked.

"I've been here since we brought you here yesterday, you're pack you know." Derek said looking up at Stiles. "Scott and Isaac are in the waiting room sleeping, and we made your dad go home so he could sleep."

"Oh, yeah. That's great, he needs all sleep he can get and it's not like I'm dying." Stiles replied. "Still I don't feel like the greatest person alive, I'm only human after all." he added. "Besides, the three of you should also go home, you need sleep too." the boy pointed out.

"Stiles, we don't need a bed to sleep you know." Derek stated. "Plus Scott and Isaac refused to leave until they let you out, so I decided to stay too, someone needs to take care of them too you know." he lied. It was actually him who was worried, well, Scott and Isaac too but he could easily force them to go home with him.

"Haha, yeah. Those two aren't really good at taking care of themselves." Stiles laughed. "Why don't you bring them in here? You all could sleep in here instead." he added.

"Yes, sir." Derek joked as he stood up. 

He made his way into the waiting room where Scott and Isaac were laying on top of each other, sleeping, on one of the few couches. Derek went up to the couch, grabbed Scott's shoulder and Isaac's arm and shook them as he called their names. The boys slowly woke up. Them both looked rather unhappy to be woken up from the nap.

"Stiles wants us to sleep in his room." Derek nodded against Stiles' room before turning around and heading for the door. Scott and Isaac were up from the couch immediately and followed Derek closely.

As they entered the room Stiles smiled widely at them.

"Get your asses over here." he commanded petting the spaces he'd made on the bed. Isaac and Scott ran past Derek and literally jumped into the space on Stiles' left side and the one at his feet. Scott curled up beside Stiles and Isaac curled up at their feet. Both the werewolves let out happy groans, tucking closer to the boy. Scott also nuzzled into his neck. Derek just watches as his betas cuddles up the boy, it still amazes him how cool Stiles is with the werewolf stuff and how close he is to them. "Are you coming or what? I'm not gonna let you sleep on the floor you know." the boy then said, petting the space on his right side. Derek wanted to say no but he knew the boy would end up getting up from the bed and lead Derek to it if he did. And Stiles still needed to repair from last night so he didn't want that to happen.

"Yeah." he muttered and started to make his way to the bed. Getting into the bed wasn't the easiest thing though. It was way too small to fit a human and three werewolves, it was made for only one to fit in it, but he managed to fit on Stiles' right side in some weird way. Once he laid his head on the only place left, which was Stiles' shoulder, he felt the sleep hit him. He hadn't realized that he was this tired until he was relaxed, which he was in this little puppy pile.

He couldn't help himself to nuzzle into the boy's neck though. It was right in front of him and he needed to scent mark him again. The smell of Isaac and Scott were almost hiding that he was marked by and alpha, that he was part of a pack. Derek fell asleep faster than ever, feeling Stiles' pulse against his nose, and he was feeling safer than in a long time. Safer with his savior close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What will happen when Stiles and the pack goes back to 'normal'?  
> How will Stiles explain what happened those years ago?
> 
>  
> 
> www.sterektothemoonandback.tumblr.com


	3. Explanation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles gets home from the hospital. How will he explain what really happened all those years ago? And why does Derek need his help?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated yesterday and now I'm updating again(yay). Derek shows emotions in this chapter. It's kinda short but yeah.

Stiles came home around 2pm on Sunday. His body was still sore from Friday but he felt much better. Scott had promised that he'd come back at 6pm and that he might bring Isaac or Jackson. Right now it was 5pm and Stiles was bored like never before. His dad had told him that he couldn't leave the house at least today. And here he was, laying in his bed and listening to music. Sure, it could've been worse like, not getting to leave his room, but Stiles hadn't really moved in two days so he was really energetic at the moment. He just laid on his bed scrolling through the games on his phone trying to decide if he should play one of them or if he should go downstairs and make something to eat. Not that he was starving but what else would he do? After some minutes of scrolling and thinking, he finally decided to go downstairs to make some food.  


It was a pain in the ass to go down the stairs since his body was sore, but how else was he supposed to get down there? Fly? No, he wasn't really magic. Five minutes of pain, struggling and breaks later he was finally downstairs. He made his way to the kitchen and cooked himself some spaghetti bolognese. Once it was done he settled himself at the table and ate. This would be much nicer if someone was here with him. He didn't really like to be alone, at least when he was bored. And what was that yesterday? He'd told Derek to come sleep beside him and the man came without any protest. He even nuzzled into Stiles' neck. And when Stiles woke up he was still sleeping on his shoulder, a comforting hand placed on his chest. Derek wouldn't do that if Stiles really wasn't pack, hell he wouldn't even have stayed at the hospital if Stiles wasn't pack. These thoughts confused Stiles. While he was lost in his thoughts he accidentally spelt his glass of milk on the table.

"Shit!" he muttered to himself as he almost jumped out of his chair. He went to get some paper to clean up his mess. As he threw the last of the milky paper he decided it was time to head back to his room so he could get some rest.

 

-

 

When Stiles came back to his room there was a dark figure standing in the corner of his room. Like always he got scared.   
"Shit! Derek, stop doing that!" Stiles yelped. His heart raced a bit more before it started to slow down.

"Sorry." Derek murmured.

"So how's my savior doing today?" Stiles teased.

"That's what I should be asking, you know. You saved our lives." Derek said as he moved to sit down on the chair beside Stiles' bed.

"Yeah, yeah, enough of the 'Stiles is a hero' talk, I'm tired of it." Stiles said, launching himself onto his bed.

"I never said you were a hero, idiot. I just said I should be asking that question." he muttered.

"Well all your puppies says I am but really, I just saved family. Cause that's what I am, right? Pack?" Stiles asked.

"Yeah you're pack." Derek said nodding.

"Thank god for that. Yesterday when you ignored me I thought I wasn't. And I got confused when you nuzzled into my neck." Stiles sighed.

"That was scent marking. I had to make sure you smell pack." Derek replied. Stiles just nodded at that. "How come you knew who Tony and his pack were?" Derek asked.

"This will take me a while to explain so I hope you have time." Stiles explained. Derek just nodded and sat back in the chair as Stiles started to explain things. The whole conversation ended with Derek holding Stiles in his arms and crying with him. Derek hadn't cried since his family died. The incident he blamed himself for. And now he just found out that Stiles - the hyperactive, funny and happy boy - carried the same blame on his shoulders. How could Stiles carry on like it hadn't happened when Derek was all bitter and showed no emotions? Derek would never look at the boy the same way again. Ever.

 

-

 

"Now that you're home and well and all I have to ask you this - how the fuck did you do that? When did you learn how to control a bow? And what did you put on the arrows? I mean, no werewolf would die by a normal arrow! Dude you have a lot to explain." Scott said as he rushed into Stiles' room.

"Wow, chill dude!" Stiles yelped as he jumped up from the chair in surprise. "You don't have to scare me like that!"

"Right, sorry, but you're gonna tell me about it now." his friend said as he sat down on the bed.

"Okay, right, guess I should tell you too. Well-" was all Stiles got to say.

"Tell it again? Who have you told? Have Isaac been here? Is it your dad?" Scott panicked.

"No, no, no, he doesn't know about this. Man, he barely knows about werewolves. Uhm, yeah, guess I should tell you that Derek was over earlier." Stiles said as he looked down to the floor, kinda ashamed that he told Derek before his best friend.

"He've been here? When? Why?" Scott asked.

"Yeah he was here like an hour ago or something. And he was here for the same reason as you, to check if I was okay, thank me and ask me how I did that." Stiles replied. "Okay back to the story. You know about my mum and so, like that she died when I was eight and that she died slowly." he started. Hell, this was gonna be hard telling his best friend the truth. Talking about his mum always made him sad and angry. "But the thing is that I know what happened. I could've saved her, Scott. Oh I so wish I would've done something that day. She wouldn't be dead if it wasn't for me. Me Scott, I'm the reason she died. The alpha pack that I killed, they killed her, no, they didn't even kill her. They brought a witch down here to Beacon Hills. They were supposed to attack the Hale pack, Derek and his family. But my dad kinda stopped them when he and a group from the station brought two of them to the station, sent them out of California to another station since the two of them was head suspects of a murder there, and with two of the pack missing, they apparently couldn't attack the pack. So they blamed my dad for it, since he's the Sheriff. And now they wanted revenge, so they made the witch poison my mum. In front of my eyes. If I wouldn't have been so stupid to run around the corner of the supermarket they wouldn't have gotten us. They used me as a bait to get my mum." Stiles' eyes were now full of tears. Damn this, it's not so much more to tell, you can do it. "When I ran around the corner they took me and when my mum came they placed a gun to my head, they said they were going shoot me if she didn't do what they said. Yeah, I got kidnapped with my mum, not the best memory ever. Okay, back to the witch. She actually made some weird drink and forced my mum to drink it. See, if it wasn't for me running around the corner of the supermarket she would probably be fine, she'd be alive, she'd still be here. But she's not, all because of me. The drink made her worse and worse every day. After about two months in the hospital she died. It took three months until she couldn't make it anymore. They took her away from me. So now I took away what they loved - their pack. I'd never let people so evil get away with killing someone so nice. My mum didn't deserve it, neither my dad. And then I'm the one to blame." he took a deep breath as the tears were now running down his cheeks. "The arrows were poisoned with wolfsbane, a rare kind. It smells like wolf, that's why non of you could smell me. The alpha pack thought it was just a smell from one of you while you thought it was one of them. Arrows poisoned with that kind wolfsbane are the deadliest for a werewolf. If you hit a werewolf in the leg it would take around five minutes before he or she dies. Hit a werewolf in the heart and they're dead immediately. And I've been practicing the bow since I was ten, guess it's my hidden talent." he explained before turning around with the chair to get something to dry the tears with. He found some napkins and turned back to face Scott as he dried his tears. When he looked at his friend he was already launching himself at Stiles. Scott hugged Stiles tightly.

"Oh my god. Why haven't you told anyone? It wasn't your fault, Stiles. You did nothing wrong. You were just a child. How were you supposed to know they'd be there? You were awesome with the bow the other day and you saved us, your pack. Never blame yourself again, okay?" Scott whispered in his ear as he dragged a comforting hand up and down Stiles' back. "You've known about werewolves since then?" Scott then asked.

"Oh, no. I had no idea. They used guns so I thought they were just evil people, not werewolves. And I guessed the witch were just some crazy lady who poisoned drinks you know, anyone could do that if they've got the right poison." Stiles murmured.

"I get that, but how do you know that they were going for Derek and his family?" Scott asked.

"They told us that. That they were going to do that and that my dad destroyed everything. The drink they gave my mum made her forget the whole thing. It was horrible. I think they did it to traumatise me, and they told me that if I told anyone, they'd kill my father too. I just couldn't let that happen." he replied.

"I-I understand that. I probably wouldn't tell anyone either." Scott said as he broke the hug. "Can I just ask you one thing?"

"Yeah, sure." Stiles said.

"How did Derek react to this? I mean, your dad saved him and his family. And now you've saved Derek's family again, not his real, but his pack, and pack is family."

"He thanked me, and my father, well, not my father but he said he was thankful that dad got them in time. And he hugged me. He-he cried, with me, Scott. Derek cried." he said looking up at his friend.

"Okay, now you're gonna tell me about that. I'd die to see Derek as he showed some kind of emotion." Scott laughed.

"I don't think so, Scott. I'm not gonna tell you about that. If you wanna know you can ask him, he's your alpha after all." Stiles said getting up from the chair.

"Oh, come on, Stiles! I wanna know!" Scott complained.

"Ask your alpha later. Now I think it's time for some video games." Stiles replied as he walked out of the room to head downstairs.

 

-

 

The next day Stiles went to school like always, he just skipped lacrosse practice and drove home instead. Scott and Derek had told the rest of the pack about Stiles' mom and how he killed the alphas so that Stiles didn't have to do it again. Isaac, Jackson, Erica and Boyd had hugged him when they saw him at school but hadn't mentioned anything, which he was really glad for. When he came closer to his house he saw the black Camaro that was parked in the driveway. Great, what did the alpha want now? He parked beside Derek's car and got out of the Jeep. As he stepped inside he saw Derek sitting on the couch, staring at him. Stiles kicked off his shoes and ignored the man sitting in his couch.

"I need your help." Derek said when Stiles entered the living room.

"Anything bout to happen?" Stiles asked.

"Yes. You know the witch who poisoned your mum?" Stiles felt how his stomach twisted as he though about her. He felt the anger build in him but he just nodded at Derek's question. "She've heard what you've done and she's heading over here, probably dragging some werewolves with her." Stiles felt the tears build as he took in the words. She was coming back, the bitch who killed his mum. He felt dizzy as the first tear ran down his cheek. "We need you to help us to end them, Stiles. I know that you hate her more than we do. And I think you're the only one who can kill her." Derek said.

"Sh-she's coming back?" Stiles asked as his legs started to shake. He felt how the panic attack hit him and he started to breath faster and felt sick.

"Stiles. Stiles, you need to relax." Derek said as he ran across the room to catch the boy who was about to fall to the floor. "Stiles, you need to be strong, you can make it. Just stop panicking, please." Derek added as he stroke a hand up and down Stiles' spine. "Listen, we've got you, I've got you. I won't let anything happen to you or your dad." Derek promised, hugging the boy tightly.

"B-but… I-I, she's…" Stiles blurted out.

"Just calm down. Everything will be fine. Come here, lets get you upstairs." Derek said lifting up Stiles from the floor. He carried the boy to his room and laid down in bed with him. Derek tucked Stiles closer, still holding him tightly. "It's okay, Stiles. She won't get us down." he whispered in the boy's ear. Stiles could feel Derek's heartbeat under his ear, slow and steady, and it calmed him enough to stop crying.

"Please don't leave." Stiles begged, clinging onto Derek's shirt.

"I won't." the man replied as he started to draw circles on the boy's neck. "I won't." he whispered once again. The boy on his chest was now nuzzling into his neck, breathing slowly. It only took around five minutes before the two of them were sleeping, wrapped around each other, and breathing in pace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What will happen when the witch comes back? Will the pack make it?
> 
>  
> 
> www.sterektothemoonandback.tumblr.com


	4. Panic Attacks and Preparing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles gets panic attacks as they're preparing for the witch to come. Derek gets hurt by hunters and runs to Stiles for help. And what are these new feelings Derek's feeling?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer than the other ones since I wanted it all to be in one chapter. Can I just say how much I enjoy writing? And I love you all. xx

Stiles woke up all warm and cuddly. He was laying in his bed hugging someone - Derek - he remembered. Derek was also warm and cuddly so Stiles just laid there. He took a look at the clock to see that it was 7.53pm. Stiles never wanted to get up ever again but his stomach clearly didn't agree to that idea. It made a loud noise that made the man he was cuddling with move a little. ‘Damn you, stomach! I love cuddles.’ he told his stomach in his head.

"I hear it's not only me who's hungry." Derek whispered as he started to make circles in Stiles' neck again.

"Well, lets get some food then. I'm starving." Stiles stated. "And once we've eaten you're gonna keep doing those circles, do you know how freaking awesome it feels?" he asked.

"If we're going it would be easier if you actually got off of me." Derek said. "And no I don't know how 'freaking awesome' it feels. No-one have done it to me."

"Then I'm gonna do it on you later." Stiles said as he got up from the bed. Within a few seconds he was rushing down the stairs. Derek threw himself off the bed and walked after the boy.

"Do you have any food home or should we order something?" Derek asked as he remembered that Stiles usually was alone at night, his father taking night shifts, so he probably ordered food pretty often.

"We have food here. I can actually cook you know, some things at least." Stiles replied. "What do you want?" he asked the werewolf. Derek went up to stand beside Stiles who looked into the refrigerator.

"What did you have yesterday?" Derek asked so he wouldn't pick that.

"Spaghetti bolognese." Stiles said quickly.

"Well, lets make lasagna then." Derek said holding up the lasagna plates.

"That sounds like a great idea." Stiles stated as he started to pluck out the things they'd need. Making the lasagna wasn't the worst idea ever. They managed to stay in peace during the whole process and once they were done with the dishes they headed upstairs again.

"Holy god." Stiles groaned. "I've never felt so close to exploding ever."

"Lucky you're not going anywhere tonight then." Derek said.

"You neither." he said pointing at Derek. "Because you're gonna stay here and make those circles in my neck until I fall asleep, like you promised. I haven't slept that good in ages. Are you sure you're not magic?" he asked.

"No magic here." Derek replied holding his hands up in the air. ‘And maybe it wasn't only the circles that made you sleep that well’ he wanted to add, but he didn't. He was pleased that Stiles let him stay, but what was happening to him? Since when did he actually smile because he was happy? When was the last time he felt this safe? This happy? He couldn't believe that the boy who'd just been a pain in the ass one and a half year ago, that now was pack, would ever made him feel this strange. The thoughts disappeared when he saw how Stiles was looking at him.

"Lost in your thoughts again?" the boy asked. Then he moved to his drawer and picked up a shirt.

"Yeah." Derek almost whispered.

"Uhm… Just, do you have any idea when the witch is coming back?" Stiles murmured as he changed shirt. Just mentioning her made him feel sick. He felt how his legs started to shake once again and then he fell to the floor. "Fuck." he hissed as he hit his elbow on the way down.

"Stiles, are you okay?" Derek asked as he threw himself at the boy. He caught Stiles under his arms and dragged him in close.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." he yelped. "Just, do you know?"

"No, but from what I've heard it'll take about three days before she shows up. But I'm not sure." Derek replied. He lifted Stiles from the floor once again.

"Then we have three days to find something that can kill a witch." Stiles muttered. "That bitch is going down once for all."

"We'll find that out tomorrow, right now you need to sleep." Derek stated as he put the boy down on his bed. Then he took of his leather jacket and crawled down beside Stiles. "Just relax, everything will be fine."

"Yeah." Stiles muttered into Derek's shirt. The boy nuzzled closer as Derek started to make the circles in his neck again. After a while his breath was even and he once again moved to nuzzle into Derek's neck. Derek wanted to stay in this moment forever. To feel safe, feel happy. To actually feel something else than just self hatred and pain. But he knew this wouldn't last forever, so he did the best of if. He placed his head on Stiles' and that's how they fell asleep. Hugging, heads pressed to each other, both of them clinging onto the other's shirt.

 

-

 

When Stiles came home the next day he went straight to his computer to search on anything that could kill a witch. Looking through the internet he found some crazy things about how to kill witches, but non of them were really trustable. After an hour he finally found some tellings that could actually work. He read about how they would affect witches and how to use them. At the end of the site there was a name of the book that the information was taken form. Stiles searched for an online copy of the book and luckily he found one with good quality and started to read. Two hours later he had read the whole book and had about three pages of notes. Just as he turned off his computer he heard someone enter his room through the window.

"I've got notes on how to k-" Stiles said but stopped is shock. "HOLY SHIT! Derek, what happened?!" he shouted, staring at the pale and bloody man in front of him. "Who did this?"

"Hunters. The-they shot arrows with some kind of wolfsbane on I guess." Derek mumbled before falling. He hit the floor with a thud and he tried to open his eyes but he couldn't.

"Oh my!" Stiles hissed. "But not Argents, right?" Stiles asked as he got up from the chair, half running to the shelf behind his bed.

"N-no, not Argents." Derek was able to mutter out.

"They're so gonna regret this." Stiles said angrily as he took the little backpack from the shelf. He opened it and fumbled with all the bottles and the small packages. "Wolfsbane, wolfsbane, wolfsbane." he muttered to himself as he looked at all the bottles and packages. "Yes!" he whispered as he found the turquoise bottle with a wolfsbane on it. Stiles grabbed Derek's shirt and pulled it so it was at Derek's chest. There, on the right side of Derek's belly button, were two, small pieces of cracked arrows pointing out from Derek's stomach. "Sorry bout this." Stiles said as he took out a small nose pilers from the backpack. He placed it around the sides of one of the arrows and then started to pull the arrow out. Derek cried in pain and his eyes flinched open and flashed red. Stiles was fast to take out the other one and Derek tired not to wolf out because of the pain. As the two pieces were out Stiles opened the turquoise bottle and put some gel beside the wounds. Then he let his hand stroke over the gel so it poured down the wounds. If Derek wasn't so hurt he would probably have wolfed out already. But he bit back the howls and hissed in pain instead. "They should heal by themselves now." Stiles said. "But you should take it easy until it's healed. You'll be weaker for some hours."

"T-thanks." Derek murmured as he closed his eyes again.

"No problem, still pack you know." Stiles said as he put away the backpack. "What about me getting you up on the bed. I'm not letting you sleep on my floor when you look like that." he added as he grabbed Derek by his arms, pulling him up so he was leaning with his back against Stiles' bed. Stiles moved to grab Derek under his arms and then pulled him up. Derek was really heavy when he wasn't able to help to lift his own weight. Even though Stiles' arms wanted to give up he didn't let go of Derek until he was laying on the bed. He helped Derek crawl out of his leather jacket and threw it to the floor before popping down beside him. "This is seriously becoming a thing isn't it?" the boy asked as Derek nuzzled into his neck.

"What?" Derek murmured into the boy's neck.

"Us comforting each other and scent marking. That thing." Stiles explained. "It's been happening a lot recently."

"Can we not talk right now? I'm exhausted." Derek said.

"Yeah, right, sure." Stiles replied. "Goodnight." he said as he started to make circles in Derek's neck. And Stiles was totally right. It felt awesome when someone drew circles in your neck. Derek sighed happily. Stiles was safe. Stiles was home. Stiles was pack. Stiles was family. Stiles was the anchor he'd been looking for. Stiles was the boy who Derek had started to like more and more for every day.

"Night." he whispered into Stiles' neck. Derek could stay like this forever - pressed close to Stiles, to his safety. Derek didn't really know what was happening. But he guessed it wasn't bad, since he actually felt happy again, he felt the spark of life become a little flame again. All because of this boy who actually cared and who shared a similar background to his own. That night Derek fell asleep with a small smile across his face. A smile caused of true happiness.

 

-

 

When Stiles woke up Derek was gone. Though his leather jacket was still laying on the floor. Stiles looked around the room and scrolled through his phone to see if Derek had left any note, but he hadn't. Had something happened? Was he okay? And that's when Stiles saw it, the notebook, which he'd written about killing witches in, was missing. Derek must have taken it to find the things they'd need to kill her. Her. This time he only felt anger, he didn't panic when he thought about her. This time she was going down. Nothing could stop Stiles, nothing. A knock on his door was what brought him back to reality.

"You up son?" John asked from the other side of the door.

"Yeah, I was just about to head downstairs." he replied. John opened the door and looked in.

"How are you feeling?" his dad asked.

"Fine, but I'm still feeling dizzy sometimes." Stiles said, not wanting to mention the panic attack the other day.

"You sure?" his dad frowned. "I heard you didn't feel so well two days ago." his dad said in a serious tone. "You know you can tell me if anything's wrong."

"Oh, that. I-I had a panic attack, or, almost. But Derek was here and helped me out of it." Stiles replied, looking down at the floor.

"Why didn't you tell me Stiles? I would've let you stayed home yesterday if I knew. Please tell me next time, okay?" John said.

"Yeah, I promise I will."

"Good, and you know what? I'll take the day off for you so you can stay home and rest." John said. "It'll be good for you." he added before he left the room.

"Thanks!" Stiles shouted after him. Spending the day home meant that he and Derek could research more about witches and find what they'd needed to kill one. Also Stiles could prepare for what was coming. First he needed to find out what would heal wounds or spells from a witch on werewolves, since he was sure at least one of them would get damaged by it. He'd also go to Deaton to ask for mountain ash so he could do a circle around his house and use it against the witch. Stiles would ask him if it was possible to put mountain ash in bullets so that his dad could use them if he 'bumped' into the witch or any of 'her' werewolves.

After writing a things-to-do-list Stiles went down to the kitchen and made some sandwiches, took a glass of juice and headed back to his room. As he ate his breakfast he called Deaton and asked questions about witches and if he knew how kill one. He also asked about the mountain ash and Deaton said he'd fix it and that Stiles could pick it up around 11am.

[08:23]   
To: Derek  
 From: Stiles  
 ‘Could you pick me up around 11am? Going to Deaton’s.’  

[08:23]   
To: Stiles   
From: Derek  
 ‘Sure. What are you gonna do there?’

  [08:24]   
To: Derek  
 From: Stiles   
‘Gonna talk about what to do when the witch comes, thought you'd like to hear it too.’

  [08:25]   
To: Stiles  
 From: Derek   
‘Okay, I’ll pick you up by 11 then.’

[08:25]   
To: Derek   
From: Stiles   
‘Great’

  [08:28]   
To: Derek  
 From: Stiles   
‘Oh, and remember to bring the notes! Deaton can probably show us how to use the things to kill a witch.’

[08:30]   
To: Stiles  
 From: Derek  
 ‘Okay.’

 

-

 

Two hours later Stiles was pacing back and forth in his room, watching the clock on his phone now and then as he waited for it to be closer to 11. All he could think about was if Deaton had enough mountain ash and if he would be able to kill the witch. What would happen if he didn't make it? Would she kill his dad? The pack? Him? What if she actually managed to kill one of them before Stiles could kill her? How would Stiles handle that? Would he be able to get past it? Stiles felt how the panic attack started to make it's way to his brain. His breath got faster, eyes flicking uncontrollable, his heart beating faster. As he started to shake he could see stars in front of his eyes. The scary thoughts taking over his mind. Death. Death. What if someone died because of him again? He collapsed to the floor and the tears streamed out of his eyes. The floor was cold but it didn't really matter. Having a panic attack brought you out of the real world and placed you in a terrifying world full of horrible things. Stiles curled into a ball and his breath became uneven, short and fast breaths between the sobs. Even though panic ran through his veins and tears streamed down his face he managed to crawl over to one of the walls so he could sit with his back against it. Suddenly he heard the door to his room fly open and someone stormed in.

"Stiles!" it was Derek who just had spoken. The man rushed down to his knees and put his arms around Stiles. "Breath, Stiles. You need to breath." he said in a worried tone. "Shh. Everything's alright, Stiles." Derek whispered as he rubbed his hand up and down Stiles' back. Derek took a deep breath of the boy as he placed their heads beside each other. Fear, angst and hurt. That was what Stiles smelled like. The boy buried his head in his neck and Derek could feel the boy relax just the slightest bit. Stiles' heartbeat slowly started to get more and more even. "It's gonna be okay." he ensured the boy. Stiles was still having a hard time breathing, panic still rushing through him. And then Derek remembered what had made Stiles relax earlier - the circles in his neck. Derek brought his left hand up to Stiles' neck and started to draw circles with two of his fingers. Stiles immediately relaxed to the touch and his breathing started to get better.

A few minutes later his breath was under control and he felt the panic slowly make it's way out of him. He nuzzled a little into Derek's neck and took a breath, taking in the scent of him. Derek smelled good, somehow he smelled familiar. It took a while for Stiles to realize that he smelled of the pack - Scott, Isaac, Erica, Jackson, Boyd and Peter, and of course Derek - he smelled home, safe. When Stiles was able to move his arms he placed one of them around Derek's back, giving the man a small hug before letting his arm fall back to his side. Then Derek placed his arms under Stiles' and pulled back a little.

"Come on, lets go to Deaton, he's probably waiting for you to come." Derek said before he helped the boy up by lifting him under his arms. Stiles slowly stood up and then stayed at the spot until he felt like he could walk. Before leaving his room he took his phone from the desk and then headed out of the room. Derek walked beside him all the way to the car so that he could help Stiles if he felt dizzy. Stiles sat down in the passenger seat and plugged his phone into the stereo in the car with some cable his dad had got him for Christmas. He scrolled through the music on his phone before deciding to put it on shuffle instead. When Derek sat down he just stared at the stereo, frowning.

"Do you usually listen to this?" he asked the boy as the melody to and old Alphaville song played. Big in Japan.

"I listen to songs like these when I'm sad or when I've just had a panic attack." Stiles explained. "It was my mum who told me to try it. She said she did it when she was sad and that it made her happy." Stiles looked down at his hands, who were nervously fumbling with his phone.

"I understand." the man replied. "This was actually one of my favorite songs when I was younger." he admitted as he started to drive. "Me and Laura would dance around to songs from the eighties when we were children and mum would film us sometimes and then when we got older she showed them to us. I wasn't the best at it."

"You did?" Stiles looked up at Derek in surprise. Never ever in his life he could imagine Derek dancing to songs like 'I'm so excited' and 'Girls just want to have fun'. The thought of it made him chuckle but he stopped immediately as he remembered that Derek had been talking about his family. Derek had never talked about his family like that before.

"It's okay to laugh, Stiles. I have to say it's better than you being sad." the man then said. "Just because I'm broody and angry most of the time doesn't mean I don't have a weak spot. Music is that spot for me. In the world of music I can just, feel free, better. It keeps me away from the real world for a while."

"Oh, I guess it's the same for me. Music brings me to another world where everything's a lot easier. Guess we're not all too different then." Stiles said. Derek just nodded in response. The rest of the ride they spent in silence, only the music playing in the background.

At Deaton's they got the mountain ash they'd need and Deaton helped Stiles to carry it to Derek's car. Deaton told them about how to kill the witch, also about how to break spells and heal wounds from one. He promised he’d be there to help them when the witch arrived. Stiles was taking notes about everything he said while Derek asked a lot of questions. They stayed for almost three hours before Derek drove Stiles home.

After driving Stiles home Derek headed for the Hale house. Once he parked outside the house he smiled a little for himself. About half a year ago the whole pack had torn the house to the ground. As they started to build the house up again Derek had slept outside most of the time, but sometimes Scott or Stiles would offer at least a couch to sleep on which Derek was really thankful for. Now the house was almost done and it looked good. The porch looked the same as before but there were no black planks neither any that were broken. Once you step inside the house you get greeted by the big stairs that leads to the second floor. The first room to the left is where the kitchen is. It's big so the whole pack fits to be there at the same time. A big table is placed under the window that points to the front of the house. Another window is place at the side of the house. To the right in the kitchen theres some counters, cupboards, a refrigerator, a stove with a built-in oven, a pantry and a dishwasher. The room to the right of the kitchen is the living room. It was Stiles and Jackson who got to pick the supplies for it so therefor there's a big flat-screen TV with a playstation connected to it. There's two, big, navy-blue couches placed like a wide 'V' in the middle of the room. One of them had an extension so that one could lay on it without taking up the whole couch. At the floor by the wall that's facing the back of the couches there's a fireplace. In front of the fireplace, on the floor, there's a big bear fur(that was Erica's idea) where they usually have their puppy piles. And beside each couch there's a chair in the same navy-blue color. Derek was happy that he let Stiles and Jackson design the room. Because the room was really nice and it was Derek's favorite room in the whole house. Under the staircase there's two more bedrooms. The left one has a double bed and the right one is Peter's, therefor only a regular bed in there. On the right side of the stairs, at the back of the house, there's another bedroom. It's bigger then the other two and has three beds, one double bed and two normal. In the front of the house there is a regular bathroom with a toilet, a sink and a shower. Moving up the stairs to the second floor you'll find five rooms. Derek's room is to the left and is almost as big as the kitchen and the living room together. On the left side of his room there's a private bathroom where he, beside the regular things you have in a bathroom, has a Jacuzzi. He has a double bed that's place against the biggest wall in the room. He has some drawers and a closet. As you get up the stairs it looks almost like it does under the stairs, there's two rooms, the one to the left is another bathroom(when it sometimes lives around ten people in the house at the same time it's good to have several bathrooms) and the one to the right is a bedroom with two simple beds. The room to the right side of the second floor is more of a workout room. There's treadmills, things for bench presses etc. Everything a werewolf needs to keep in shape. And that's what the house was looking like. The only thing not finished was the basement. Where they would lock themselves up on certain full moons.

Derek walked up the stairs to his room and flopped down on his bed, thinking about the past days, the past months, about Stiles. The boy had saved his life more than anyone else. He had even held Derek up in a pool for two hours, rather drowning with him than to let Derek drown and save himself. When Derek thought back at that moment he regretted what he said to the boy about them not trusting each other. The boy had no reason to hold Derek up for that long. Yes, the Kanima was there, pacing around the pool, but Stiles could've let Derek drown and swum in the pool on his own. It would've been a lot easier than holding Derek up. And those times he never told the Sheriff that Derek, the head suspect of two murderers(this caused by Scott), was hiding in his room. Not that the Sheriff would mind it now that Derek hung out at Stiles' with the pack or just crashed on the couch sometimes. But back then he would've killed Derek if he knew. Stiles never stopped to amaze him, like the other day when he saved them from an alpha pack. The boy killed a whole alpha pack without a problem - to save his own pack. Derek's pack. Stiles was pack. Derek still couldn't believe it sometimes that he was. Stiles was good for the pack. He was the one you'd go to if you needed help with research or just anything. It was like Stiles was the glue that held them together, made them stronger. Made Derek stronger. Just like mates does.

 

-

 

That night when Stiles was laying in his bed he thought about his panic attacks and how Derek had soothed him. The way Derek drew those circles in his neck like it was a natural thing to do when Stiles was freaking out, the comfort from his hugs, the way he just held him until he was calm, the way he let Stiles fall asleep in his arms. Derek, the man he'd been saving all those time, who also had saved Stiles. Derek, the alpha of the Beacon Hills pack, his pack. Even though they didn't get the best start ever, he wouldn't do anything to change it. Stiles was part of Derek's pack and the pack was like his family. They were like siblings, fighting with each other but in the end they were at peace. All the puppy piles that had happened since Scott and he joined the pack was awesome. Stiles felt safe around the pack, around Derek. Derek had made him stronger than before. Well, Stiles was still kinda weak but who was he to blame when he was human? No, Derek made him as strong as he could be. He helped him rely on his senses - earplugs to train his sight, blindfold to train his hearing, earplugs and blindfold to train his sense of smell. Around Derek he felt safe, he felt better than when he was alone. If he wouldn’t have been so tired he would've realized that its just like mates do. But Stiles couldn't think of that because he was already sleeping. The thoughts of Derek made him drift into a safe place where no-one could actually hurt him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Stiles be able to face the witch without getting a panic attack? Will he be able to kill her? What if he screws up? Then this is the end for the Beacon Hills pack.
> 
>  
> 
> www.sterektothemoonandback.tumblr.com


	5. The Witch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Stiles ready for what's coming? Will he stop the witch before it's too late? Well, the witch comes so he doesn't have time to think about that anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this faster than I thought so yeah here you have it. It turned out longer than I thought.

_Everything happened so fast. At first Stiles stood in front of the pack with the bow raised at the witch, the next moment he saw Scott being thrown at a three, his body getting impaled on a branch. Stiles saw how his friend took one last breath before he dropped his head down. A flame on his right side caught his attention and he watched as Erica burned, slowly melting and falling to the ground. Suddenly Isaac came flying over his head, green smoke lifting him up in the air until he was in front of Stiles._

_"I told you not to tell anyone." the witch hissed. "And now you're getting to pay for it." she laughed before she shot a lightning at Isaac. She hit him in the heart and it burned fast with a green flame before the boy fell dead to the ground._

_This wasn't how it was supposed to be. Stiles was supposed to save them, kill her. But now three of them were dead. And the panic was starting to rush in Stiles. It felt like his skin crawled and his vision went black for a second. His body began to shake and he felt his knees give up. As he hit the ground another one from his pack came flying through the air, landing just a few feet away from Stiles. Jackson's lifeless body was what Stiles saw as he looked up. Tears started to run down his face. He failed. Stiles failed. He killed everyone he cared about and loved. Stiles was the one to blame for this, he's the one who should be dead, not the others. They didn't deserve any of this pain. The last thing Stiles saw before he shut his eyes one last time was Derek being torn to pieces by the witch's magic spear. With shaky hands he took out the gun from his belt and placed it to his head. There was no reason to live anymore. If he was dead the witch didn't have any reason to continue, if now anyone was still alive, Stiles hoped it though._

_"I hope you burn in hell." he muttered before he placed his shaky finger on the trigger. He fired away and there was no pain anymore. He was gone. Dead._

Stiles woke up with a load scream. Tears were falling down his face and his heart raced. Loud sobs made their way out of his throat between his uneven, fast breaths. It felt like he had swallowed a rock that didn't want to move from his throat. He coughed on his breath and he felt the pain in his head. It felt like his head was about to explode. His arms and legs were trying to get out of under the covers but they just got tangled into the sheets. Stiles haven't had a panic attack like this since about two weeks after his mother died. Trying to reach for his phone on the shelf behind his bed only made the attack worse. A painful feeling hit his leg and he realized it was cramp. Curling his body to a ball was the only thing he could do that moment. His whole body ached and he desperately tried to even his breath but it was pointless. Just as he was about to give in and let the panic attack take him over his window opened and someone stormed at him. Stiles knew it was Derek before he could even see him. The man grabbed him and placed him in his lap.

"Shh… It's fine, Stiles. Everything's okay, it was just a dream. Shh…" Derek whispered soothing. "Please stop crying." he said as he brought a hand up to the boy's neck. "We're all okay." he added before he started to make circles in Stiles' neck. "I got you." he whispered in the boy's ear.

"B-but what if I don't make it? What if everyone dies because of me, Derek?" the boy hissed. "I'll fail, Derek. I know I will."

"No you won't. We, the pack, will be there and help you. We're gonna make it, Stiles. We're stronger together." Derek said softly, because it was true. The pack was the strongest when they all were together.

"How did you know?" Stiles asked. "How did you know I had a panic attack? You weren't around, were you?" 

"No, I wasn't around. I just… knew. Like, I could feel it." Derek replied. Then he just stayed as he was, drawing circles in Stiles neck and hugging him, until Stiles was finally calming down. "You wanna listen to some music?" Derek then asked.

"Sure." Stiles said as he reached for his phone on the shelf behind the bed. "Could you get the headphones? They're on my desk." Stiles asked. Derek nodded before getting himself off of the bed. He got the headphones from the desk and then returned to the bed. Derek laid them both down on the bed and tugged Stiles closer until he was pressed against Derek's chest. Stiles took the headphones and plugged them into his phone. Then he held out one headphone for Derek to take. Once the man took it Stiles scrolled through his music and then stopped to play one of the first songs.

"This is my favorite song." he explained as the intro to Bleeding Out by Imagine Dragons started to play. "My favorite group." he added between two sobs.

_I’m bleeding out, so if the last thing that I do, is bring you down, I’ll bleed out for you. So I bare my skin, and I count my sins, and I close my eyes, and I take it in. I’m bleeding out, I’m bleeding out for you, for you._

Derek started to make circles in Stiles' neck again and was still doing it by the time the boy stopped crying and hugged him back. Stiles was almost asleep when Derek decided to place a protecting kiss on his forehead. There was still music playing in the headphones and Derek had to admit that the boy actually had a good taste in music. Soon Stiles was sleeping, head in the curve of Derek's neck, placed in Derek's arms. The man fell asleep shortly after to the beat of Stiles' heart and the melody of Battle Scars by Lupe Fiasco & Guy Sebastian.

 

-

 

The next morning when Derek woke up Stiles was already up and sitting at his computer and there was low music playing in the background. As Derek moved to lay on his side in the bed, which is too comfy to just leave right away, it cracked and the sound made Stiles turn around in the chair.

"Morning sunshine!" he greeted. "Thought you'd never wake up."

"Ugh. Morning." Derek murmured back. "What time is it?" Derek asked as he dragged a hand down his face. The day was here. Today the witch would come and Derek had to be prepared as much as Stiles did.

"It's ten, sleepyhead. Too bad you didn't wake up earlier, I made the best pancakes ever!" Stiles said happily as a smile spread across his face. If you looked at the boy now you couldn't believe that he had a panic attack last night. "Come on! Get up sleepyhead! It's gonna be a long day you know. We, or should I say I, must fix with all the mountain ash today."

"Shouldn't you be at school today?" Derek asked as it was only Thursday today.

"Nope. Well, yes, but dad called them and took time off from school for me, both today and tomorrow. If I now still live tomorrow but yeah, I hope I do." the boy replied. Even as he said the last sentence the smile on his face didn't disappear. Which was good. Really good. Since this actually was the day she would come. "Why don't you get your lazy ass out of the bed and go grab some breakfast and then help me prepare?" Stiles asked, a bit more annoyed than before. "I'm seriously gonna crawl out of my skin if I have to sit here all day while you sleep."

"Fine, fine." he muttered as he threw his legs off the bed. Once he stood up he stretched out his whole body, arms up in the air. He left the room and went down the stairs to the kitchen. Derek don't remember when walking around Stiles', or should he say _the Sheriff's_ , house had become such a natural thing. Sometimes he would even go to the house when Stiles wasn't there and watch some TV with the Sheriff. It felt really nice how fast he'd been dragged into the Stilinski family. The Sheriff had even invited him over for Christmas that year, and it was still around 3 months left. Well, Derek wasn't the only one, but it was the Sheriff that had invited him, not Stiles who invited the other ones in the pack. Derek was actually really looking forward to spending Christmas with the pack. It was gonna be his first one since before the fire. While Derek was lost in his thoughts he had actually managed to eat three sandwiches and drunk a glass of milk.

When he walked up the stairs he heard how the showers went on in the bathroom on the second floor. He went back to Stiles' room and sat down in front of the computer. Derek hadn't told anyone yet but he knew the password to Stiles' computer and sometimes he'd borrow it when the boy wasn't home. Okay, that sounded kinda creepy but you could always find information about everything supernatural on Stiles' computer since the boy had hundreds of files about all different kinds of creatures. Derek heard when the shower went off and how the boy moved closer to the room but he didn't even bother to move.

"Hey! What are you doing? How can you be on my computer it has a pass- OH MY GOD! You know my password, don't you? You're such a creeper man!" Stiles hissed but it more came out as an almost-shout. Derek just grinned at the screen at the boy's reaction.

"Yes, I know it." he replied after a moment of silence. "It's not like you've never whispered it to yourself at some times."

"Still creepy, dude." Stiles stated as he brought the other chair he had in his room and at it down beside Derek. "What are you looking for?" he asked as he plopped down in the chair.

"What do you think?" he asked, but it was more like he was telling Stiles it was a stupid question, as he shot a glare at the boy. Stiles was so smart yet so stupid. Derek didn't get the boy sometimes.

"Oh… Right." the boy said as he realized Derek was looking up things about witches. "About that, I gave my dad the bullets and said he should do a circle with mountain ash around his office today."

"You what? Your dad knows that a witch is coming and why?" Derek asked and glared at the boy.

"Well, he freaking know about werewolves and witches and all these other supernatural creatures, he've know for a year or so. And I've informed him that a witch and possibly some werewolves will come today but I didn't say why. I guess he thought it was you guys who could smell it." Stiles answered and rolled his eyes. "Now you can go back to the reading and stop glaring at me and I'll start with the mountain ash around the house. And don't worry I'll not close the circle until everyone is in place and blah blah." the boy said as he left the room.

 

-

 

In the last class Scott, Isaac, Jackson, Erica and Boyd could feel that something was about to happen. It was like the air changed and it smelled weird.

"Guys, I think the witch is here soon. I can feel it in the air." Scott whispered to the group.

"I can feel it too. It's like the magic is in the air." Isaac said nervously. "We gotta hurry to Stiles before she comes."

"Agreed. He can't be alone with only Derek when she comes. She's powerful, I bet we all can feel it." Erica stated.

"I can call the Argents and ask them to come too. They can help us with the werewolves." Jackson offered. Then the bell rang loudly and they were all out of the classroom in seconds. Jackson called Chris as he ran first to his locker then to his car. Erica and Boyd picked Allison up on the parking lot and leaved immediately. Scott and Isaac just ran to the parking lot without bothering to put their books in their lockers and drove off to Stiles.

 

-

 

At the Stilinski house Derek was walking back and forth in the yard, too affected by the magic in the air to be able to sit down. The witch was coming closer and closer but she was still kinda far away. That's what had Derek to know that she was powerful.

"Thank god! They're finally here, all of them." Stiles sighed in relief as all the cars parked on the road. He was sitting on the porch with the last of the mountain ash, tapping his fingers nervously on his knee. Scott and Isaac rushed hand in hand towards the house as they got out of the car. The sight of them made a small little smile spread across Stiles' face. Isaac and Scott had been dating for maybe a year or so, yet they had announced it around seven months ago - which was kinda unnecessary as they were so obvious that you could see it from the start. Both the werewolves threw themselves at Stiles and knocked him out of his chair and down to the ground. "Ouff… Take it easy." he scuffed out from beneath the werewolves.

"Get off of him, loverboys. I'm sure he doesn't have time for that right now." Jackson said as he smirked. Scott and Isaac didn't look too happy but they both got up from Stiles and helped him up.

"How can you guys not go out of your minds I mean I'm human but I can still feel the weird tension in the air so you must be able to feel it even more." Stiles pointed out.

"I swear to god if you feel it more than we do then I feel sorry for you." Jackson said.

"We do feel it more than Stiles." Derek said shortly. There was a long moment of silence and pacing before anyone said anything. "Stiles, do you want any of us outside the circle to fight the werewolves?" Derek asked the boy.

"Well, I don't know. I just don't want anyone of you to get hurt." he replied.

"Me, my dad and the two other hunters could stand in our own circle of mountain ash and have one of you werewolves in there. We could just break it for some seconds if you'll have to run out of it." Allison said. Stiles nodded in agreement and he and Allison went to prepare a second circle.

By the time they had decided that Derek and Boyd would stay in the circle with the hunters, Chris and Peter showed up with the other two hunters. They had guns, crossbows and bows for, at least what it looked like, twenty people. Yet, they were only three. Stiles frowned as he looked all their stuff. It's not like there were going to be fifty werewolves or so, right? He then shook his head and went to his Jeep to get his bow. Then he headed up to his room to get all the special arrows and the weird weapon he'd gotten from Deaton that had poisoned bullets in it. As he walked out the door Allison closed their circle of mountain ash.

"Should we closer ourselves in too?" Isaac asked with a frown.

"Yeah." Stiles replied as the took up the mountain ash from the porch and pored it on the ground so their circle was closed. "Okay, breath, Stiles. You can do this." he spoke to himself as he closed his eyes and then took a deep breath. "She's not gonna win this time."

Ten minutes passed before you could hear the werewolves approaching in the woods behind the house. Stiles, Chris and the two other hunters, named Tom and Keali, raised their weapons and Allison moved to open the circle so wolfed out Derek and Boyd could get out. All the werewolves were wolfed out, eyes glowing as the sun had started to set and fangs and claws bared. Derek and Boyd jumped out of the circle fast so Allison could close it again. From the woods you could hear cracks and growls as the werewolves made their way towards them. Suddenly a werewolf came flying out from the left corner of the woods and Stiles shot an arrow against it. The arrow hit the werewolf in the arm as he, you could now see it, was still flying in the air. He hit the ground in a painful growl and slowly turned human again. Two other werewolves ran out of the woods. One of them got shot by Chris, who didn't hesitated to kill him directly, and the other one attacked Boyd. Derek jumped for the werewolf and it was now trapped between him and Boyd. A big, black shadow jumped for where the hunters were placed in safety in the ring and Keali shot with a crossbow. One arrow in the leg and another two in the stomach and the werewolf fell to the ground. The werewolf that Boyd and Derek were fighting was now thrown up in a three, throat ripped. Stiles raised his bow again and and shot the werewolf, who was pinned to the ground by the first arrow that he'd shot, in the head. As three more werewolves came out of the woods Stiles handed Scott a gun.

"Aim for the heart or just a leg. They'll fall wherever you hit them." he said to his friend, not taking his eyes of the biggest one of the werewolves. Scott took the gun with a bit shaky hands but aimed for the smallest one that was now running to the front of the house. Stiles drew back another arrow and fired at the big werewolf who was about to attack Boyd from behind. The arrow hit him in the stomach and he fell down on his knees. He let out a growl and looked up at Stiles with furious eyes. "Oh little beast, didn't mummy tell you that I managed to kill an alpha pack to protect my pack? Do you seriously think you betas and omegas are any challenge?"

"She'll kill you, all of you!" the werewolf cried out. Stiles shook his head at the man.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Stiles almost whispered as he went to the end of the circle. He plucked up another arrow, settled it in the bow and pointed it at the werewolf. "Any last words?"

"T-this is no-" the werewolf managed to say before Stiles had shot him in the heart. All that while Keali and Tom had killed the third one and Scott had managed to kill the small one.

"Genim, Genim, wherever you are." a lady voice said from distance, so it sounded more like an echo. The voice made the hair on Stiles' body to stand. He clenched his teeth together and he felt the anger rise in him. This was it. It was the moment of revenge. Stiles was finally going to see the witch who killed his mother.

"Genim?" Jackson asked with a frown.

"Well everyone has a name, don't they?" he spitted out. Not that he was mad at Jackson, he really wasn't, but the fact that the witch was so close made him mad, at her. "Sorry." he whispered in apologize. There, not too far away in the woods, they all started to see a green, glowing light that surrounded the witch. Stiles felt his stomach hurt, just like he'd been hit. The green light made it's way forward, closer to the pack and the hunters. Allison quickly opened their circle and Derek and Boyd ran into it before she closed it again.

"I know you're there, Genim." the witch spoke as the green light became bigger and bigger the closer she came. "You can't hide from me."

"I'm not hiding." Stiles spitted out between gritted teeth.

"I should have poisoned you too all those years ago, sweetheart. But I only got the order to poison your mum from the alphas, and I came with them. Now the werewolves are here with *me*. Well, they were until you killed them." she laughed out. _Sweetheart_ , the nickname made Stiles want to throw up in pure disgust. You could hear her breaths as she flew closer, and yes, she was flying. She then came out of the woods and Stiles got to see her the first time in eight years. It still made him feel sick. The witch landed on the ground and let the green light fade away. "Oh, I see you have gotten yourself a pack." she said dryly as she looked around at all the people in his backyard.

"Worked better for me than it did for you." he said. "Also, they're not just pack, they're family." he added.

"Well, well, well. I thought you learnt that lesson those years ago, Genim. Wouldn't it be too bad if I took away someone from your family again?" she offered with a smirk on her face. She then looked at Stiles with those cold, grey eyes she had done when she poisoned his mum. The look disgusted him. All for his bad luck, he felt how his legs started to shake just the slightest, his heartbeat pounded faster and he got a hard time to hold his breath even. The blood in his veins started to pour faster and he tried to swallow the blob in his throat. He tried to blink away the stars in front of his eyes but it was hopeless. Fuck, this couldn’t happen. Not now. This was _not_ the right time for a panic attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well who knows what will happen now?
> 
>  
> 
> Ps. About the end: sorry I'm not sorry. xx
> 
>  
> 
> www.sterektothemoonandback.tumblr.com


	6. The Spell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The witch uses some magic on the pack. Will Stiles save them? Himself? Or is this the end?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had some trouble putting this chapter together since school started again and I haven't really had time to write so sorry for a crappy chapter. Well, lets hope it's not too bad.

"Break it! Allison, you have to break it!" Derek screamed at the girl. "Chris, if you all run to the other circle and then break it when we come running and then close it, Allison you run with us. Come on, hurry! He's not gonna make it otherwise!"

"Okay, okay. You three run, I'll be fine." Allison told her father. Chris, Tom and Keali ran out of the circle and made it into the other just as the witch spotted them.

"Oh, Genim. You're not as strong as you think, ha ha!" the witch laughed out. "Did you seriously thought you would make it? Huh? Poor little sweetheart."

"Now, Allison." Derek said to Allison and she broke the circle and ran for her life. The witch shot a green light in front of Boyd and he didn't make it to the circle. Chris broke the other circle and Derek ran up to Stiles with no hesitation. Chris closed the circle when he knew there was no way Boyd would make it before the witch spelled someone else. Derek took Stiles by the arm and placed the boy's head on his shoulder, placed his own head on Stiles' shoulder, and started to make the circles. "You can do it, Stiles. I know it." he whispered soothing in the boy's ear. Stiles relaxed into the touch and calmed down faster than the other times.

"Let him go." Stiles ordered the witch as Derek moved to stand at Stiles' side instead, still pressed against the boy. And Derek was sure that if looks could kill - the witch wouldn't exist anymore.

"What? I'm gonna listen to you?" the witch asked.

"Let. Him. Go." Stiles shouted, not letting his eyes move away from the witch. Then he stepped away from Derek and moved forward. He took one of the arrows that were dark blue and raised his bow. "Now."

"Lame move." the witch replied and lifted Boyd up in the air. His friend were screaming in pain as he left the ground. The witch murmured some kind of spell and a yellow flame appeared in her hand. It grew larger and larger as she continued to murmur. Stiles ran forward, out of the circle, and fired away the arrow. The green flame kept growing larger but she used her other hand and put it up to Stiles. Her hand started to glow green and there was something that burned on Stiles stomach. It felt like something burned his skin just beside his belly button and he clenched his jaw in pain. She never got to finish whatever she was doing to Stiles because the arrow hit her in the arm, the right one, and the flame went out, Boyd fell back to the ground and her hand stopped glowing. Stiles hissed in pain because whatever she did to him it couldn't have been good. Samantha, as the witch was named, also shrieked in pain. "You can't break me, Genim. You _can't!_ " she shouted at him. Stiles took it as a challenge and shot another arrow at her, hitting her in the shoulder.

"I think I can." Stiles muttered. 

"No." she cried out and snapped her hand shut, which made it feel like someone punched Stiles in the stomach from all sides. The pain was unreal but he still stood tall. He plucked out the gun from his belt. "It was nice to see you, really, it was." he said as he went forward and pointed with the gun at her. She raised her head and suddenly a stick came flying through the air against him.

"NO!" he heard Allison scream as all the werewolves growled. The stick hit him in the side and the pain made him pull the trigger before he bent down over his stomach. He hissed in pain and put a hand to where the stick was. But to his luck the bullet hit the witch in her stomach.

"Mountain ash, scarlet mondara, crocosmia and moon flower, heard witches loves it." he muttered dryly, watching as the witch screamed in pain.

"You will pay for this, _Genim!_ " she spat out his name like it was some kind of trash.

"Why? Because I got revenge from what you did when I was eight? _I'm_ the one who's gonna pay for getting my revenge, huh? Look at me, Samantha. You really think that's how it works? I watched my mother die more and more each day for three months. I saw how my dad started drinking and taking more shifts than he actually can manage. He barely took care of me because he was do depressed. And then me. I took care of myself and my dad, I still do. I buy and cook him healthier food so that I hopefully will get to keep him longer, I tell him to stop when he've drunk too much, I keep my grades up so that he at least can be a little proud of me, I help him with some cases that he can't really manage to solve, I try to keep going even though these dark thoughts are lurking in the back of my head, I try not to think about what happened nine years, four months and five weeks ago. Yes, I still remember the day you poisoned my mum, I will never forget it. Yet, all I do is wrong. Do you know how that feels? People complaining about you, saying that you can do better, to stop playing? Well I'm sure you don't. But I do. Genim Gabriel 'Stiles' Stilinski. _I do_. People think I'm just a lucky boy whose dad is the Sheriff and has good grades. That I'm just a normal seventeen-year old boy who lost his mum when he was little. But I've been through more than any seventeen-year old ever should've been. Everyday I try to make things better but they usually just end up worse. And now you came back and tried to take my new family away from me and think it's okay. No, Samantha, I won't let that happen. Once you're dead, we're even." Stiles shouted. He was shaking in anger and the wound was burning. Once again he lifted the gun and pulled the trigger. 'Poof!' and Samantha was falling dead to the ground. There, on the ground, she was. His mother's murderer. She was now dead. Stiles would never have to live with the fact that the murderer of his mother was still alive. Because he had just killed her. It was over, right? A sting in his left side made him hiss in pain and fall to his knees. Oh holy fuck how much it hurt. He adjusted just in time to fall on his back instead of his left side, which would have made the stick push farther in. Stiles was exhausted, thirsty, hungry and in _a lot_ of pain. At first the pack just stood there in shock taking in what just had happened. But then Allison broke the circle and everyone ran to Stiles.

"I'll call an ambulance." Chris said as he pulled out his phone from his pocket.

"A-allison. T-this. Red gel. B-boyd." Stiles murmured out. Allison took the backpack from Stiles and hurried up to Boyd.

"Go get something for him to drink and maybe some blankets." Derek ordered his betas. "And a first aid kit." he roared as Scott and Peter stayed by him and Stiles. One growl and the two betas also ran into the house. "God, Stiles! Are you okay?" he asked the boy as lifted his shoulder blades from the ground. He stroke a hand over the boy's forehead and leaned in to place his head on the boy's.

"H-hurts." the boy replied looking up at Derek. Derek placed his right hand, the one that he just stroke over the boy's forehead, on Stiles' stomach, placing his fingers around the stick still stuck in his side. Black veins started to spread across Derek's arm as he took some pain away from the boy. Even though he was a werewolf it hurt to take pain away from Stiles. But as long as Stiles didn't feel that much pain it was okay. Well, the pain didn’t last long for him anyway.

"You're gonna be okay." Derek said looking back at the boy. Stiles gave him a weak smile and kept blinking uncontrollable. He looked like he was about to pass out any second and Derek knew that wasn't good. "Come on, Stiles. You have to stay awake until the ambulance comes. Sorry for this but…" he apologized as he stopped taking the pain away. Pain was the only way to keep him awake. And awake was the only thing Stiles needed to be right now. Stiles closed his eyes and groaned as the pain hit him again. Even thought all the pain the boy was feeling Derek could feel how relaxed Stiles was in his arms. Suddenly two big, brown eyes were looking right at him again.

"M-mate?" Stiles asked the man. All Derek could do was to nod as an answer. Stiles raised his head a bit, closed his eyes and rubbed his nose against Derek's - giving him an eskimo kiss. Derek closed his eyes and rubbed back.

"Mate." he whispered back and smiled. Derek could hear how them all had stopped outside the door and felt how they were looking at them. He could hear some 'aw's from some of them and he heard Isaac say 'so cute' while he gave Scott a hug. Hell, Derek could even hear Peter say 'bout time that happened, they're good for each other'. That made Derek smile even more before he hugged Stiles carefully.

 

-

 

When Stiles got home from the hospital, one week later, he was still in pain but the worst was gone and he still took painkillers. At the hospital they had to do a surgery to get the stick out and to stop internal bleedings. After the operation they kept him sedated for three days so the wound got some time to heal because if he was awake and moving it'd take longer. Derek had been by his side all the time he could at the hospital and one of the nights he had sneaked in to Stiles' hospital room and slept beside him. The man had also taken some of Stiles' pain away when it hurt the most, like it did when he was about to sleep. He would bring Stiles better food the days Stiles refused to eat the horrible hospital food. His dad had been there too but Derek had told him that he could stay most of the time since he didn't have a job. John had been calling Derek at least one time a day to check how he was going and to just have someone to talk to. Stiles was really happy that his dad had got a friend he could talk to instead of just Stiles. Not that it was anything wrong with himself but sometimes a man needs to talk to another man who isn't his son.

At the moment Stiles was laying on the couch, head in Derek's knee watching TV. Well, Stiles wasn't really watching because he was almost asleep. Derek had a hand on his side and were taking away his pain, which made him very relaxed and sleepy. It was Derek who had picked him up, or had driven, from the hospital and insisted to stay until the Sheriff came home. Stiles felt how his eyelids got heavier and heavier and just like that he fell asleep.

 

-

 

That's how John found them two hours later when he got home from the shift. Stiles' head still in Derek's knee, Derek's hand resting on his side. As he turned around after closing the door Derek looks up sleepily at him and greets him with a small smile.

"You two are damn cute, you know that? Are you, you know?" he asked as he made his way to the living room. Derek blushed a little and looked down.

"Thank you, John. Uhm… I don't know,." Derek replied, smiling down at the boy in his lap.

"He's good for you and you're good for him." John nodded at them. "But if you don't stop with that," he waved his hand at the cuddling boys. "I'm sure I'll get diabetes if I watch you two together for too long." he laughed before making his way to his room.

"Dad's home?" Stiles mumbled from Derek's lap. The sound of the door to John's room apparently woke him up.

"Yeah. He just explained he'd get diabetes if he had to watch us together for too long. He also thinks we're cute together." Derek explained.

"Owh man, I'm glad I slept when he said that I'd just blush myself to death." Stiles laughed out. "But I do indeed agree with him, we are cute." he added.

"Yeah I'm sure we are." Derek said sarcastically.

"Hey! Watch it wolfman or you'll get me after you." Stiles threatened him, shaking his finger at Derek.

"Like I don't already have you after me. And we both know I could rip your throat out without any effort."

"Yeah, well, okay. But we both know you wouldn't do that, dude. Don't let your mouth spit out too much, you know I could kill you with only an arrow or a bullet. Not that I'd do that either but yeah, I could." Stiles said. Derek just laughed and lifted Stiles' head up from his lap and stood up. "Where are you going?" Stiles asked as he frowned.

"I'm going to make the two of you food, then I'll head home." he replied and pointed between Stiles and John, who just had left his room, and then went to the kitchen.

As said Derek made the two Stilinski's food, said goodbye and went home. He had barely been home in a week and he knew Stiles was okay so he'd stay home for the night.

 

-

 

Someone knocked on the door and Stiles got up from the couch and went to the door. When he opened it three werewolves, Jackson, Scott and Isaac, attacked him with a big hug.

"You're okay." Isaac whimpered.

"I hope you never plan on doing something like that again. I'd never want to loose you." Scott said.

"It's good to see you're okay." Jackson said, ruffling Stiles hair, as they broke the hug.

"Aw come on guys, I'd never leave you. And it's nice to see you too." Stiles said smiling at his friends. "How's Boyd doing?"

"He's fine. After Allison did that thing you told her to he got better. Much better than we thought actually. He was himself again two days after." Scott answered happily.

"That's good. Oh. And while you're here, could you help me change the bandage and clean the stitches? It's like impossible to do it alone." Stiles asked his friends.

"Yeah, sure." Scott answered his friend. Stiles pulled his shirt over his head, revealing the bandage, and started to take it off.

"The kit is laying in my room, on the dresser." He informed the werewolves. It was Jackson who disappeared up the stairs to get the kit. Just seconds later the werewolf came back down with the kit in his hands. "This one first." He said as he took up a small bottle with a green label on. Jackson took the bottle and Stiles finished taking the bandage off. Jackson opened the bottle and looked up at the wound placed on Stiles' left side. It was about one and a half inch and pink, a bit red around the stitches from irritation, but it looked good apart from that.

"Does it hurt much?" Isaac asked as he frowned. He hated to see Stiles hurt, knowing he was human and didn't heal as fast as a werewolf. The boy went through so much pain for the pack that Isaac wondered how he still was so strong.

"Kinda." The boy replied.

"Well, Derek's coming later, right? He can take some pain away." Scott said as he poured some liquid from the bottle over the stitches. Stiles took in a deep breath as it stung. If Derek didn't come he would go to Derek himself, this pain was too much sometimes.

"I damn sure hope he does, or else I won't get any sleep tonight. It feels like the wound throws you in a wall whenever you try to sleep." Stiles wasn't even lying. It felt like he was thrown into a wall or punched in the gut whenever he tried to sleep without Derek and his wojo-werewolf-pain-taking-thing.

After they finished cleaning Stiles' stitches they talked a bit more about how the pack was doing and what Stiles had missed in school. Then the three werewolves made their way home and Stiles started to do some homework. That night Derek visited Stiles to check if he was okay and take some of his pain away so that the boy could sleep. He left about an hour after the boy fell asleep. Going home to think.

 

-

 

Derek thought about what had happened over the past two weeks. Stiles saving them from an alpha pack, getting so exhausted he had to be at the hospital for about two days. Discovering that Stiles actually was his mate. The witch coming, Stiles getting hurt, spells being used on his mate, Stiles killing the witch - which brought him back to the hospital. Derek had been at the hospital to comfort Stiles, his mate, and take some of his pain away. But what would happen when Stiles was fine again? Would they still hang out as much? Go back to normal? Did Stiles want this, them, to be a thing? Did Stiles want to be Derek's mate? Spend the rest of his life with him? Yeah, sure, Stiles had been a bit cuddly and so, but it was probably just because Derek was there for him and took his pain away. Stiles wouldn't need Derek anymore when he was recovered. Yes, Stiles would still be pack, hang out with them, go to pack meetings, help them with research. But he wouldn't need Derek the way he did when he was hurt. He wouldn’t need Derek, would he? Stiles was his mate, Derek knew he needs Stiles, and Stiles might need Derek, but that still doesn't change the thing that Stiles could just walk away from him, leave him for someone else, someone better. And Derek just wanted Stiles to be happy, to have someone he deserved, but Derek wasn't that good, he'd never be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have two different things in mind for next chapter: either I just write it through - like an ending I'd say - or I'll start another "problem" in next chapter. What do you think?  
> Well, anyway, in next chapter you'll get to know about the spell used on Stiles in this chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> Ps. I just really like the name Gabriel so that made Genim Gabriel "Stiles" Stilinski his name, woo.
> 
>  
> 
> www.sterektothemoonandback.tumblr.com


	7. The Truth About The Spell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Stiles is okay again Derek starts to avoid him, but why? Doesn't Derek love him? Isn't he good enough? Getting more and more depressed, Stiles does stupid things. Then Stiles comes up with an idea that might get Derek to want him again. But how come the world only curse him even more? He wasn't made to feel happiness, was he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter guys! I've really enjoyed writing this and hopefully I'll be back with a new fic soon! I have a few "laying" around that I actually started writing before I even got the thought about this one. This fic was really a surprise to me since I told myself "no more fics until these three are done", but then I started writing this and writing it was easy. I hope you've enjoyed this and I'm sorry for misspellings, I'm not American nor English tho(but I wish I was). I hope this chapter isn't a disappointment, and I'm sorry it took some time to post it, but I've been kinda busy with school so I haven't really had time to write. This turned out as a long chapter tho, I guess it's good.

About one week after Stiles was okay, Derek started to avoid him. Stiles had no idea why Derek did it, but he did. And Stiles was kinda upset about it. I mean, Derek was his mate, right? That's what Derek had told him that night with the witch. Mate - someone to share the rest of your life with, build a family with. So why was Derek avoiding him? Yeah, Stiles was still in the pack, went to pack meetings, help them do research and sometimes helped them fight when needed. But other than that, Derek hadn't been near Stiles. After a month of Derek avoiding him Stiles started to get really upset with it. He didn't know what was happening, nor why it was happening. But he started to get this lump in his stomach - growing larger for each day that he was ignored.

Two months into the my-mate-is-avoiding-me-thing Stiles got depressed. Everyday he got more and more depressed until he couldn't stand it anymore. The lump in his stomach hurt too much and he could barely focus on anything because of the feeling of depression. That's where the scissor took it's part. It was a small, silver scissor and the blades reminded more of a saw, or a bread knife, than a normal knife. He wasn't obsessed with it, no, but when he felt his worst he would cut, or more saw since it wasn't so sharp, three of four cuts on his upper thigh to make him focus on the pain instead of being abandoned by the person he loved. This only happened once a week though, since the depression wasn't that bad at the moment.

Five weeks after the scissor took part in his life, he got insomnia - and three days of sleeplessness made him tell his dad about the problem with sleep. Which led to his dad taking him to the hospital to take some tests. Yep, it was insomnia he had. And the insomnia made it very hard for Stiles to keep up in school. He was tired all the time and once he fell asleep he slept for maybe three hours, woke up, wasn't able to fall asleep again and was awake for some more days before getting maybe two hours of sleep. Another visit at the hospital and they gave him sleep pills. Stiles was getting better, he slept more since the sleep pills but he was still feeling depressed and he still cut himself at some times. 

After some weeks the insomnia disappeared and he could sleep again. But as the time went by the lump in his stomach grew bigger and it ended with him pulling the trigger again - this time something some people would call a bigger problem than running a scissor into your skin. A toothbrush down his throat was the next stop. Maybe if he got skinnier Derek would want him? Stiles was probably too fat for him. Throwing up some food would only do you good, right? And after some weeks Derek might notice him again. That's what he would do. It was a great plan, to be honest. Every time after dinner he would just go to the toilet, push that toothbrush down his throat until he threw up, brush his teeth and sometimes take a shower. Before the throwing up part showed any results Stiles dad brought him to the hospital again - this time to check depression, which John had suspected since Stiles had barely been smiling the past few weeks, nor he cracked jokes or was being sarcastic. Diagnose - depression. Great, just another problem added to that list of diagnoses. Oh, and the insomnia was back. ADHD, insomnia and depression. What was next? All these diagnoses just made him feel sick. Stiles was just a mistake, or, no, he was more like a freak - unwanted and weird. All this pressure of him being the worst human ever put him to a point where he started to throw up at least two times a day.

It was now five months since the witch had been there, about three months since he started the cutting, two months since his first insomnia diagnose, one and a half month since he started to throw up and five weeks after the depression diagnose and the insomnia was back. Stiles was on his way to the hospital, alone this time, to check if he was okay. He was tired(the insomnia wouldn't give in this time) and hungry. But food was no option since that would make him fat again. Hey, he had actually lost around 33 pounds since he realized he was probably too fat for Derek, which was good according to him. Derek would probably take notice of him soon, just a few more pounds to his goal.

As he entered the hospital there was an old man who walked down one of the corridors with his nurse beside him. His gaze followed them for a while before he turned his head to the front desk. Stiles went up to the front desk and checked in. He had called to the hospital two days ago to get a time and here he was. His doctor, who luckily wasn't Melissa, came out five minutes later from one of the doors behind the desk.

"Stiles Stilinski." he called out in the waiting room, searching the room with hie eyes. Stiles stood up and caught the man's eyes. "Oh, there you are. This way." he said and gestured for Stiles to follow him. They walked quietly down one of the corridors, turned right and took the third room right. "So, you're here to get checked up again, right?"

"Yeah. And I'm here to get some more medication for my diagnoses." Stiles replied as he sat down in the chair across his doctor's desk.

"Well, I think we start with the basics - checking your pulse, weight, breathing and then we take some blood test." the doctor said as he went up to Stiles. He put his stethoscope over Stiles heart. "Hhm… Lets check the breathing next." he added and moved the stethoscope so it was placed between Stiles' collar bones, perfect place to hear his breathing. "It's a little raspy but other than that it sound fine. It's probably just because of the lack of sleep and all the medication. Do you still have a hard time to sleep?"

"Yes, the insomnia have been here for almost five weeks. It's exhausting and I finished my sleeping pills last week." he replied and got up from the chair. Stiles placed himself on the scale.

"Hhm…" his doctor hummed as he wrote down the number from the screen on his paper. "Could you take off your shirt so I can look at your back bone?" he asked Stiles.

"Sure." Stiles nodded and unzipped his hoodie. He took it off and then pulled his shirt over his head. After stepping off the scale he tilted a bit forward so that the doctor could check his back bone. What he didn't know was that you could see his back bone without him tilting forward. All the pounds he'd lost had made his back bone and ribs - okay, almost every bone in his body - more visible than they should be.

His doctor, Daniel as he insisted to be called, went to take out some syringes from one of the two back rooms. He got back and sat down by his computer for a second.

"Stiles, would you come here, please." he said and Stiles did as he was told. Before sitting down on the chair beside Daniel he pulled his shirt back on. The syringe stung just a little bit but then it was fine. Daniel disappeared again into the back room, probably checking the blood test and came back about five minutes later. He sat down and looked at the protocol in his hands, making a face that was a bit surprised. "Uhm, Stiles," he cleared his throat and looked up at the boy. "I'm afraid you have anorexia."

"Wh-what?!" Stiles eyes got wide in surprise. This wasn't what the throwing up was supposed to do. He would get skinnier, not sicker. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"I'm pretty sure that's the case. You've lost 34.26 pounds since you were here last, and that was five weeks ago. I should tell your dad about this."

"No, no, please. Don't do that. Just… I want to do it myself when I'm ready, okay? I-I… He," Stiles blurted out.

"It's okay, Stiles, I understand. But you have to do it soon, he must help you get out of it, you know that." Daniel nodded. "But I'll promise to help you all I can. You can always call me if you want to ask something."

"Y-yeah. Thanks." Stiles murmured. How was this possible? Three diagnoses in about three months? And one from his childhood? Stiles was just a failure in this world. No one really needed him and he only caused problem to everyone.

"I'll just, print out the paper of the diagnose so you can bring them home. No training until you start to eat again, you hear that?" Stiles nodded in response. Great, now his lacrosse career was over for a couple of months. "And you'll have to try to eat and keep it. It's okay if you only eat a bit, as far as you don't throw it up. I know it will be difficult, but I know you can make it." Daniel said as he printed out the papers. Once he got them from the printer he signed them and handed them to Stiles. "I'll call you when I know a time you can come back. Should be some day next week. Now take care. Goodbye, Stiles."

"Bye." Stiles said and walked out of the room. His eyes' fixed on the papers in his hands. Anorexia? Really? That's not what Stiles wanted it to be. He wanted to loose weight, not get another diagnose thrown on his back. Still he made no signs of emotions. He just drove home with his Jeep but once he settled down in his room he couldn't stop the tears from falling. His life was falling apart in front of his eyes and he hadn't even realized it. No one had. Not even his werewolf friend. His pack.

 

-

 

Scott burst into his room twenty minutes later. Stiles was still sitting on the floor, in the corner of his room, crying. His friend rushed to settle down beside him, arms flailing around, trying to get a hold of Stiles.

"What the hell happened?" his friend almost shouted in panic. "Stiles, why are you crying?" Scott asked as Stiles didn't answer. "Come here." his friend said and held out his arms. Stiles flung his arms around his friend and grabbed the back of his hoodie. Scott stroke a hand up and down his spine trying to comfort his friend. "Shh, it's okay Stiles."

"No! It's not okay! Nothing is!" Stiles yelled into Scott's shirt.

"Stiles… What happened? Is something wrong?" Scott asked, worried about his friend.

"Everything's wrong, Scott." he muttered between his sobs. "M-my desk. The papers. C-could you bring them here?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course." Scott moved to his desk and got the papers for Stiles. "Here you go." he added as he handed Stiles the papers. Stiles took them and flicked through them, stopping to take out the third one.

"This is what's wrong." he informed his friend as he held up the paper to him. Scott took it and looked a bit confused.

"Insomnia… sleeplessness… serious in some cases… lack of sleep… hard time sleeping and only get between two to four hours of sleep when finally managing to sleep…" he heard his friend murmur as he read through the paper. Scott looked up from the papers to look at Stiles in shock. "Oh my god. Why haven't you told me this before? You got this five weeks ago, dude."

"Well, it only gets better, don't it?" Stiles muttered sarcastically handing Scott one of the other papers. Scott took the papers from Stiles and as he read through it he got more and more worried and upset.

"Y-you, have depression? Five weeks?" Scott asked nervously and looked back at his friend. Stiles only sighed and nodded. There was no more point in lying anymore. Scott was his best friend and needed to know the whole truth. So Stiles handed him the papers he got today. His friend would seriously go out of his mind when he read the word 'anorexia' and that Stiles, his best friend, had it.

"I'm just a piece of shit." Stiles murmured under his breath, but since his friend was a werewolf he would hear it perfectly.

"Anorexia." Scott let out a breath. "Oh my god." Scott was stunned of all the news. How come he hadn't noticed anything? Any changes on Stiles the past months? He felt like the worst friend ever. "You're gonna be okay. I-I'm so sorry for not being at your side to notice this. Stiles, I-I'm really, really sorry." Scott whispered to his friend as he brought him back into a hug. Scott grabbed a hold of Stiles, making sure that Stiles knew he wouldn't move away in a while, and Stiles could feel the tears on his neck and shoulder as Scott started to cry. "I'm so fucking sorry."

"I-it's not your fault." Stiles whispered back, voice raspy from all the crying. They stayed like that for the next hour. Hugging each other tightly, trying to comfort one another as small tears made their ways down their cheeks.

"I promise I'll help you get back." Scott broke the silence between the two of them. Stiles just squeezed a bit harder and then relaxed again. "Shall I tell Derek to come over later?" he asked as he pulled back from the hug, frowning.

"Yeah, sure. Tell him to come in two-three hours or so." Stiles answered. "I should take a shower." he murmured to himself and got up from the floor. "Bye."

"Bye." his friend replied and jumped out of the window.

 

-

 

"DEREK!" Scott yelled even though he knew his alpha could hear him if he whispered. Scott heard a sigh from the living room and just as he started to walk to the room Derek popped up at the door frame.

"What?" he asked a bit annoyed. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Scott.

"Do you even know how crappy Stiles is at the moment? Haven't you even noticed? I mean, you're his mate for god's sake!" Scott was angry, not really at Derek, but it felt better to shout at someone than to keep it in. The words put a worried look on Derek's face and he looked a bit confused.

"What's up with Stiles? Did something happen?" he hoped it didn't come out as desperate as it felt.

"Oh god! You should see how bad he is. I got there and he was crying when I came, then he cried for another hour before calming down. And you," he said pointing at Derek. "Are going there in two-three hours. He said he wanted you to come."

"Shit, Scott! I should've know something was wrong with him." Derek muttered nervously. "No way, I'm going there now." he said before rushing out the door.

"No! He said to wait," was all Scott managed to say before Derek was too far away. "Fuck."

 

-

 

Stiles got out of the shower and put his boxers on, threw a towel around his hips and another one to dry his hair. He dragged the towel up and down his head and then hung it over his shoulders. It felt good that he had told Scott about his problems. Now he didn't have to hide it from everyone. And it also felt good to be clean again. He walked down the hall and opened his door. What he didn't notice was the werewolf sitting on the edge of his bed. What caught his attention was the sound of a sharp breath. He looked up to see Derek staring wide-eyed at him from his spot on the bed. Stiles jumped in surprise, yelped and dropped the towel around his shoulders, exposing his now too skinny stomach to the werewolf. Derek's eyes grew wider as he scanned the boy's body.

"Oh my god!" Stiles almost screamed and hurried bend down to pick up the towel. His limbs failed him completely and instead of picking up the towel from the floor he managed to drop the one around his hips, exposing those ugly scars placed up high on his thighs. He saw how Derek scanned his body in shock, eyes wide and short, sharp breaths. "Fuck! D-derek… Uhm, hi, I told Scott to tell you not to come already! What are you doing here?" he blurted out and managed to cover his body as well as he could with one of the towels. Derek got up from the bed and walked slowly towards Stiles. The man stopped when he was about twenty inches away and he slowly took the towel out of Stiles' grip and dropped it to the floor. His eyes flickered up and down Stiles' body and he looked horrified. When did this happen to Stiles? The boy's ribs, collarbones and hipbones were pointing out - probably his back bone too - and it looked like he hadn't eaten anything for months. Small and big scars were placed on the boy's upper thighs, making the otherwise perfect skin uneven. He looked so fragile, like he was gonna break if Derek would grab him too hard. Black bags were resting under the boy's eyes and the otherwise bright and shiny eyes were blurry and lifeless. How could he let this happen? Stiles is his mate for fucks sake. He's suppose to protect him from things like these.

"Why'd you do this to yourself?" Derek whispered and stopped his gaze to look Stiles in the eye, but the boy just looked down to his feet. Derek could feel how his eyes were watering from the sight of Stiles looking like this. Stiles let out a sob and Derek could see that some tears made their way down the boy's face.

"I-I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you. I thought you'd notice me more if I was skinnier, thought you thought I was too fat. Since you started avoiding me I've just been getting sicker and sicker, disease after disease. Only reminding me of that I'm a failure who don't deserve to be on this planet. Depression, insomnia and anorexia, that's what I'm having at the moment. Hell must have cursed me or something. First I get ADHD, then my mum dies, then my mate turns me down, and like the dot over the i I get the diagnoses depression, insomnia and anorexia. Heaven just hadn't a plan for me." Stiles blurted out, the tears steaming down his face faster and faster. "Oh, and those," Stiles added pointing at the scars. "They made think about something else than my psychological pain, made me feel a bit better when I felt like the worst." his voice broke at the last part and the pain came back, grabbing around his heart. Panic attack.

Derek couldn't believe what he just heard. _He_ was the reason for this? Stiles didn't think he was enough? That he didn't love him? Damn! Derek loved Stiles, more than he'd ever loved someone before. But seriously? Insomnia, depression, anorexia and self-harming? Stiles wouldn't manage to do that by himself. No. Something was up. But right now that didn't really matter, cause Stiles was standing in front of him - torn apart, broken - and the boy was beginning to get a panic attack. Stiles needed him, just like Derek needed Stiles. And it turned out that Stiles loved him, still loves him. He blinked once and felt a tear run down his cheek, the first tear in a very long time. He stepped forward and took Stiles in for a hug.

"I-I loved you back then. I love you now. And I'll love you in the future." Derek breathed out. "I'd never think you're not good enough, I thought _I_ was the one who wasn't good enough, Stiles. And you were not fat."

"I love you too." Stiles whispered between two sobs. They stood like that until Stiles was calm again. As Derek pulled away, letting his right hand stop to rest over Stiles' heart, Stiles let out a broken sound of surprise. Stiles felt something beside his belly button. It hurt a little but at the same time he felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from him. The boy looked down at his stomach and when Derek saw it he glanced down. There, beside Stiles belly button, a bright turquoise light was drawing over the skin. Derek went down on his knees, hands gripping Stiles' hips, and watched as the light played over Stiles' skin, drawing something slowly. When the light stopped moving it hit him what he was looking at. The pattern was glowing, showing it's shape. What Derek was staring at was a turquoise-glowing triskele, just like the one on his back. He dragged a thumb over the triskele and it stopped glowing bit by bit as his thumb moved over the whole pattern. The triskele was still there, just less visible, like a scar. When Derek looked up Stiles was still staring down at his stomach, mouth shaped as an 'o'.

"That's the spell." Derek then said, as he realized what the spell had been.

"Wh-the what?" Stiles asked and move his eyes to look at Derek as the man got up from his knees.

"The spell. You remember that the witch used a spell on you?" Stiles nodded. "I think this was the spell." he said as he gestured at Stiles' body. "She made a bond between us, a bond that when I avoided you, you felt worse and worse and got more and more depressed." Derek added. It all made sense now. They hadn't thought about the spell the witch used on Stiles because nothing had happened at the moment. But now they had it figured out. And hopefully they had broke it. Not that the spell would cause Stiles any harm anymore - cause Derek was definitely not leaving Stiles side again - but to know everything was going to be okay.

"Oh." Stiles responded as he realized what Derek just had told him. He wrapped his arms around Derek again and let out a happy sigh. "I love you." he whispered against Derek's neck. Derek got a hold of the teen and led him to his bed.

"You need to rest." Derek said as set Stiles down on the bed. Stiles crawled under the covers, gaze still set on Derek.

"Don't leave me." Stiles blurted out when Derek moves to the end of the bed. Derek looked back at Stiles before taking his leather jacket off.

"I wasn't leaving and I'm not going to leave. Don't worry." he assured the boy as he gave him a weak smile. Stiles eyes fell shut and he let out a breath. Derek could feel how he relaxed at the words. He carried on with taking his clothes off, shirt first then his pants and socks, before heading for the other side of the bed. Slipping under the sheets as carefully as he could. Once settled in the bed he leaned over and pressed a kiss to Stiles' forehead.

"Love you too." he whispered in the boy's ear before gently wrapping an arm around the boy, pulling him closer to his chest. He nuzzled into the back of Stiles neck and let out a happy sigh. Stiles was going to be fine. It would take a while to get back to what Stiles used to be, but he was sure they'd make it. The boy in his arms was going to be okay, safe. Stiles let out a happy sigh before Derek could feel him drifting off. Only then Derek realized that he was tired too. Once again he pulled Stiles just a bit closer, pressing a kiss to his neck, before relaxing. This was how he was going to spend the rest of his life. Together with his mate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it for me for now. I hope to post something new soon. xx
> 
> Thanks for the lovely comments !x
> 
>  
> 
> www.sterektothemoonandback.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Where will Stiles be when he wakes up? Will he even wake up?
> 
>  
> 
> www.sterektothemoonandback.tumblr.com


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